Page 131 of In Love and Revenge

‘That’s just cruel.’ Anger surges through my veins, making my blood burn at the idea of a nine-year-old, traumatised Rafael being told to ‘man up’ and get on with it when he almost lost his life.

‘Yeah, well. Didn’t work, did it?’ Rafael shrugs. ‘I’m still screwed up. And he lost the biggest deal of his career because of it.’

‘That’s not your fault,’ I insist when he flicks his eyes away from mine. ‘Rafael?’ I turn his face back to mine. ‘None of it is your fault. You need to stop blaming yourself. And you need to talk to someone about it. This isn’t healthy.’

‘I’m talking to you.’

I stroke his cheek. ‘You are. And I’m grateful you’re sharing it with me. But I mean a professional. Someone who knows what they’re doing and can help you.’

He rests his head back against the stone column. ‘I don’t deserve you.’

‘Don’t say that.’

‘I don’t.’

I swallow, my throat burning with the words that I’ve never voiced to anyone before. Not my father. Not Dove.

‘I know what it’s like to blame yourself for something, even though people tell you it isn’t your fault.’

Rafael’s brow furrows and he sits forward, searching my face for meaning.

‘My mother died after giving birth tome. My father lost his wife because ofme. And now he’s losing his freedom because I can’t help him,’ I choke out. ‘I’m not strong enough or smart enough to be able to get him out of there, even though I know he did nothing wrong.’

‘Listen to me,’ Rafe says, all of his usual confidence and assertiveness returning at once. ‘You had nothing to do with losing your mother. Jesus, Aurora.’

‘I-I k-know. That’s exactly what I’d tell anyone else in my position. But it doesn’t stop me from feeling like it was my fault.’

‘And your father?’ Rafael frowns. ‘You could never let him down. Look at all you’re doing. All you have done for him. You’ve never given up, not once. I’m in bloody awe of you.’

I stare at him, unable to speak. No words could ever convey how much hearing him say that means to me. Even if I’m struggling to believe him.

‘Let’s go back inside,’ I whisper.

I help him to his feet, and he readjusts the towel around his waist, then holds my hand. He keeps his gaze firmly ahead until we’re safely back inside his room with the balcony doors locked behind us.

‘I’m sorry for shouting at you,’ he says, pulling me into his arms. ‘I didn’t mean to scare you. But seeing you on that column, I just—’

‘It’s okay. I understand. I didn’t, but now I do.’ My eyes drop to his chest, and I trace his scar with the pads of my fingers. ‘Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.’

‘The same goes for you too.’

He hooks his fingers under my chin, tilting it so he can slant his mouth over mine. His kiss is weighted with emotion, and everything about the gentle way he traces my tongue with his tells me this isn’t like all the other times. His kisses have always been enchanting. But this one? This one’s raw and wounded. Scarred.

‘I don’t think it’s only heights that scare you,’ I whisper against his mouth as he takes his time tracing the seam of my lips with his tongue.

‘No. Now, I’m more scared of losing you,’ he breathes.

He kisses me deeper, sliding his hands into my hair and holding me in place. Our bodies press together, and the solid length of him strains against the towel.

I shake my head against his lips. ‘I think you’re scared of disappointing your father. Of feeling like he doesn’t love you and isn’t proud of you.’

‘Aurora.’ He sighs, pulling back, but I know he hears the truth in my words.

‘You should tell him what really happened with the Wyndham deal.’

‘I was going to today. But he and Angelo argued, and I needed to get my brother out of there. It’s how we ended up at the fight.’

‘He doesn’t get along with your father?’