She slowly exhales as she blinks away the water gathering in her eyes.
“What do you do to stop the questioning or get those insecurities to go away?”
I hum as I run my hands down her arms and let her go.
“Honestly, sometimes I can’t on my own. Sometimes it’s one of the guys that do it for me. It was you who did it in the woods in the Abandon.”
“Me?”
“Yes you.” I chuckle at her confusion. “I was deep in my head, but you stayed by my side and talked to me. I really just needed someone to be there for me, and you were.”
Her lips turn down in a deep frown as she faces my fireplace. I don’t say anything as she nods mindlessly.
“When V said he was leaving to get all of you, my first thought was you.”
“Me?”
A small smirk crosses her lips as she peers at me, then back at the low-burning flames.
“I thought about that moment in the healing villa when I told you, you were about to meet your Valtrue. Gods, I’ll never forget that look in your eyes.”
I groan. That’s a day I’ll never be able to forget. It’s one that I’m both grateful for and still pissy about.
“What was the look? A glare of death?” I laugh, but she doesn’t.
“A flash of fear.”
The mirth dies on my tongue as her serious gaze meets mine.
“I felt like the realm’s biggest bitch for dropping such news on you like that, then running away to just let them in. By the time I turned back around, that look was replaced with fierce confidence. I remember thinking to myself, damn, this girl has a spine of steel to stand there like that with who’s about to walk in.”
“Well, perfect example of how I had to shove my insecurities down. I didn’t have another choice.”
“Yeah, I know that now.” She sighs, and her shoulders sag as she tilts her head toward my ceiling. “So, when V went to leave, I thought about how not only did you face this same fear in a matter of seconds, but you and that very Valtrue who I was petrified of that first day, put your asses on the line to go help mine.
“You didn’t drop the news on me, then open your front door with them there. You warned me you were going to get them, and everything was going to be fine. You gave me time I didn’t give you.
“So I decided I wouldn’t sit in my house freaking out anymore. I was going to go face my Valtrue head-on just like you did. Gods, I didn’t expect that introduction to go the way it did. All that fake confidence went to hell in a heartbeat.
“Literally standing before the four of them,feelingthe power that they hold, sent me spiraling. I’m nowhere near as capable or as powerful as they are. That terrifies me.”
“You are as capable and as powerful as them.”
“You’re just saying that ’cause I’m your best friend and you have to.”
“No, I’m not. I mean, granted, yes, I will always hype you up, but I have more reasons than that to believe it.”
“Yeah, like what?”
“Like the fact that you blocked out a piece of a Beginning God’s power. Sure, it drained you, but you did it and that’s a testament to your strength. In the words of Amick while he was scolding me, we may not like the dynamic of how Attendants are treated, but in its core, original sense, you were paired with me because there’s a strength in you that matches my own. Whether that’s power or maybe internal will, whatever it is, I believe it.
“Last and least, simply because I’m pissed off at him right now for not talking to any of us since the shit show went down, Derivius swore you had strength. Right before he split my soul, he said I’d see it and my need for you, and you’d see that in me. I have seen it. I know it. There isn’t a doubt in my mind. If anything, in my humble opinion, those four fuckers are lucky to have been paired to you.”
Silence lingers between us as she bobs her head like she’s agreeing just to agree. My lips part, more examples of herbrilliance ready on my tongue, but I snap my mouth shut when she huffs.
“This is going to take me some time to come to terms with.”
“The part about having a completed Valtrue, or that you’re a powerful goddess?”
