I want every last bit of ye.
He turned them then, putting her back toward his mattress. It was a subconscious gesture, his mind knowing exactly where he wanted her even if he wasn’t taking her there immediately. He couldn’t take her there though he was running out of reasons to stop himself.
Katherine’s palms moved up his arms, her skilled fingers pressing against his muscles. It was as if she was tracing the firm lines he usually kept hidden beneath his doublet. Knowing she desired him just as he desired her only drove him to move even closer.
Holding onto her tightly and never breaking the kiss, he walked her backward just a few steps. He didn’t take her all the way to his bed. Not yet; he just couldn’t.
Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling herself even closer to him. Letting go of her hair, he grabbed onto her other buttock. In a display of his strength, he lifted her from the ground.
“Liam!” she squeaked into his mouth.
The sound of his name gasped against his lips only made his cock harder. His tongue traced the line of her teeth, mapping them out with devastating focus. His palms squeezed the firm flesh of her bottom.
He couldn’t stay away from her if he tried. Kissing her was something he’d never be able to give up. Even if he deluded himself into thinking that putting distance between the two of them was the only way to keep her safe, they would always end up here.
As he walked them even closer to his mattress, stopping only a few steps short, he lowered her to the ground. She kept her arms around his neck, even after her footing had settled. Stubbornly, she refused to break the kiss. It pained him to break away, but he had to give her a chance to walk away before he did something he’d never be able to take back.
“Leave,” he said, the command weak. “Before I go any further, leave.”
Her arms remained wrapped around his neck, her forehead resting against his. He could feel every breath she took against his lips. And when she opened her mouth, he already knew the words she would speak before she voiced them.
“I’m nae leavin’, Liam,” she whispered, her lips brushing against his as she spoke. “I’m stayin’ right here.”
And that was worse than her insisting he keep going.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“Liam,” Katherine murmured, tightening her arms around his neck one last time before she let them fall away.
She had felt the shift. His kisses were raw and ruthless, meant to frighten her. She couldn’t be, though. Not when she could practically taste his hurt. There was something he was hiding, something that pained him so much he felt the need to lash out like an injured animal.
I think I’m startin’ to understand.
“I cannae understand everythin’ that is goin’ on in yer mind,” she said, her voice impossibly soft. It felt almost as if she were walking through a minefield, that one wrong move would blow them both to bits. “But I ken hardship.” She swallowed hard. “I ken what life can do to a person. Ye can speak to me.”
“Ye daenae ken anythin’,” Liam said, whatever was troubling him outweighing the anger of her insistence. “Ye keep insistin’ that ye do, but ye have nae idea what I am dealin’ with.”
“Nay,” she admitted quietly, shivering when he withdrew his touch. She wanted it back desperately, but more than anything, she wanted to help him. “I daenae ken anythin’, but I want to learn. I daenae wish for ye to carry this on yer own.”
“Me first wife…” he started, his voice strained as though even speaking about the event was physically painful. It was such a sudden change from the energy that had charged the air just seconds before. The words spilled forth as if they couldn’t bear to be held inside any longer. “Agnes’ mother died durin’ childbirth.”
Though Katherine already knew, she nodded anyway, sensing there was so much more beneath the surface. She grabbed his hand, holding tight to him. To her surprise, he didn’t pull away.
“It was me fault. If I wasnae intimate with her, if she hadnae fallen pregnant, she wouldnae have died. And that’s why I daenae wish to touch another woman. I daenae want to be the reason that death befalls ye. Another child, me own desire, it is nae worth riskin’ yer life,” he finished.
“Liam…” she whispered, searching for something that could lessen the guilt he felt.
“Ye willnae change me mind,” he said, the words coming out sharp. It was a desperate grasp to reinstate his control. He’dgiven too much. “Me own mother was taken from me when she birthed me stillborn brother. I ken enough to ken that lyin’ with a woman brings her much more harm than good.”
Katherine stared up at him. Her mouth stayed firmly closed, her eyes wide with surprise. He tracked the way her throat worked as she swallowed harshly with a predator’s gaze.
Then, she squeaked out, “That is why ye’re so protective of Agnes, isnae it? Why ye willnae let her go to the sea?”
“Ye wish to ken why I willnae allow ye or Agnes to visit the sea?” he demanded wildly, his eyes meeting hers. “It is because me father started a war with a clan of pirates, and four years before Agnes was born, they returned stronger.”
He paused, running a hand through his hair and making a frustrated noise. She wanted to reach for it, to hold it, and try to calm him. Instead, she tightened her grip on the hand she was still holding.
“They attacked when we were still reelin’ from the loss of Agnes’s mother,” he continued, a flash of self-loathing going across his face. His posture tightened. “They took Agnes. Me fool of a father killed the Pirate Laird’s sister before he lost the battle. They wanted to hurt Clan MacDougal as badly as he’d hurt them.”
