“But ye got her back,” Katherine said quietly. “She is here now. She is thrivin’.”
“We did,” Liam muttered, though he sounded displeased. “We managed to kill the man who took me daughter, but the Pirate Laird and the rest of his clan fled to the sea. They vanished, almost as if they never existed, but I ken they’re out there. Either still at sea or well-hidden on the land.”
Katherine’s brow furrowed. Tilting her head to the side, she murmured, “What do ye mean? That they might be nearby?”
He ground his teeth together, his gaze becoming unfocused as he shifted his attention to the window behind her. “I daenae ken when they will return. I havenae found them yet.”
“Perhaps they are gone,” Katherine said, knowing that the consolation wouldn’t please him. She simply didn’t know what else to say.
“Nay, they arenae. I would ken if they were eliminated,” he said, finally pulling his hand away from her. He took a step away, going around her to look out over the rolling hills. “I must protect Agnes from them. They arenae tryin’ to fight a war. They want retribution for the life me father took. Ye are in danger, too. From them. From me.”
She took a few steps toward him but forced herself to stop. His entire body was a raw nerve. He didn’t need her touch, no matter how badly she wanted to give it.
For a few more moments, the two stood in relative silence. Liam seemed to be searching for the very enemies he had just disclosed. Katherine wished more than anything that she hadthe words to assure him that none of what had happened was his fault.
He had inherited someone else’s battles. He was paying the price for that every single day. There was no reason for him to continue to punish himself for things that were beyond his control.
“I cannae seem to control meself around ye,” he said finally, turning around to look at her, guilt seeming to stick to him like the sticky summer air. “Ye must stay away from me. And I will leave. I must find the pirates and investigate a group of bandits. I will find both of them, and I will protect ye all. Nay matter the cost.”
His words, his honesty, and his restraint moved her. She couldn’t imagine shouldering this kind of pain alone, but the declaration landed like a blow to Katherine’s chest. He couldn’t leave again.
* * *
Liam watched as Katherine’s face fell. Ever since he’d met her, he’d wanted to shield her from his past. And now, seeing the way that she deflated with the weight of the knowledge, he wondered if he’d made a mistake.
“If ye let me, Liam, I will fight by yer side.”
She sounded so sure of herself that he almost believed that the two of them could make things right.
His hands tightened into fists at his sides. He still wanted to reach out, to touch her. He’d already done too much damage this evening, though. Reaching out for her once more and then pulling away again would do nothing but hurt her even worse, transferring the pain of his wounds onto her.
“Nay,” he said, hating that the single word still seemed to hurt her. “I willnae put ye in any more danger than ye’re already in just by bein’ wed to me. Ye will stay here. Ye must care for Agnes. She needs ye.”
“She needs ye, too,” Katherine said softly. She took a step forward, and he had to force himself to stay in place. “Ye cannae just run away from her. Even if ye are doin’ it for her safety, what is the point if ye’re nae here to see her well?”
“Ye speak as if it is simple,” Liam said, too exhausted for anger.
He wasn’t exactly resigned, but he didn’t think it was worth arguing any longer. She was stubborn, and she would likely keep pressing all night if he let her. And, if he let this keep going, he might give in to her once more.
“Everythin’ sounds simple when ye say it,” Katherine said, crossing her arms over her chest. It seemed that she was holding herself back now, too. “I ken it isnae that simple, but ye are a smart man. I ken ye’re capable of findin’ a solution. And if ye let me, I will help ye.”
Her expression was so open, so genuine. Those brilliant eyes that he’d begun searching for around every corner bore into him.It felt nearly impossible to deny her, almost like cutting off a limb. He had to turn away and return his attention to the inky darkness just beyond the window.
The moonlight cast a ghostly glow over the land, allowing him to see the shapes of the trees as if they were spectral. He thought that this was what awaited everyone who trusted him. He couldn’t guarantee their safety, no matter how hard he tried or how well-meaning he was.
Finally, he spoke again. His voice was low and even as he said, “Ye need to stay here, Katherine. This is where ye’re safest and where ye can do the most good. I must leave. I must stop any attacks before they happen.”
“Liam, ye daenae?—”
“I am the Laird,” he said, cutting her off. He rested his hands on the windowsill, holding on so tight that his knuckles turned white. “It is me job to make decisions for me clan. Some of those decisions mean that I will have to be away. The guards are well-trained to defend our position. But I ken I cannae trust scouts nor reports from our allies to clean up the mess that me father created.”
Her footsteps began to retreat. Each one was careful, the sound dull as though she were trying to keep herself quiet. She repeated, “If ye would let me help ye, I would. If ye would let anyone in the castle assist ye in carryin’ the burdens that ye seem to think belong to ye, ye would be a more effective leader.”
Though he knew she was right, he couldn’t bring himself to admit it. And it didn’t matter if sharing the burden would help; it was his alone to carry. His duty was to protect his people, including the guards and Cillian. Offloading his worries onto them would only make it harder for them to do their essential duties.
When Katherine realized she wouldn’t get an answer, she turned around. He listened to the quiet swish of her nightgown against the floor as she put the distance he’d been demanding between them. It wasn’t until the door to his chambers had opened and then closed again that he let out the breath he’d been holding.
“I am damned nay matter what I do,” he said, looking up at the nearly full moon. “If I leave, I will crush her. I will upset Agnes. But if I stay, I leave us open for attacks. Surely, they are better off alive than pleased I am around.”
