“Agnes was glad to see me,” he said finally, apparently deeming his daughter a safe subject.
“Aye, she missed ye,” Katherine said enthusiastically. She turned in her seat, sitting up a little straighter. “And she did so well with her lessons.”
“I kent she’d be in good hands,” he said though she could tell that he was reluctant to speak it aloud.
Katherine practically glowed knowing that he trusted her with the person she knew was the most important to him. It was hard to keep herself from vibrating out of her skin at the praise. She wondered if the thought had crossed his mind, and the confirmation made her chest feel intoxicatingly light.
“I’m glad that I am able to teach her and spend time with her,” she said, tempering her tone. “But I kent she was wishin’ ye were here too.”
“I have given her permission to practice her letters in me study as I deal with the paperwork that’s accumulated,” he said, his gaze drifting to the scribbles in front of her. “But I will have everythin’ sorted out by the end of the day.”
“Right,” Katherine said, tilting her head.
He stared at her for a moment then cleared his throat. “Lady Agnes had hoped that the two of us would have a ceilidh to celebrate our union. We didnae have the chance to do it while she was here, but I would like to honor her wish. This has already been decided.”
Katherine studied his face, searching for any sign of where his mind was. He was still watching her, seemingly disconnected from his declaration. She couldn’t help but wonder if he thought about the kisses they’d shared or if he had allowed himself to grieve. Even though she’d caught glimpses of what he was hiding beneath the surface, she didn’t have the full picture.
“That sounds lovely,” she said, carefully keeping her tone light.
“I willnae be doin’ anythin’ but fulfilling’ me duty of attendin’,” Liam replied, clipped. “I will be there, and I will finish plannin’ the day. I will present ye publicly as me wife, but I willnae be doin’ anythin’ more.”
Frustration, tempered by unease, bubbled in her gut. This should have been exciting, yet she was still being kept at arm’s length. He was already refusing to indulge in something as trivial as the ceilidh.
“Ye’ve nae done any grievin’ while ye were away,” she said, picking each word carefully to keep his rage from exploding once more. “Ye spent all of yer time ignorin’ everythin’.”
“I wasnae ignorin’ anythin’,” he growled, his voice taking on a dangerous edge. “I already told ye that I was handlin’ the detailsrelatin’ to the inheritance. I couldnae ignore the reality of what happened.”
“That’s nae what I meant,” Katherine murmured, slowly rising from her chair. She didn’t approach him, respecting the distance that he’d put between them even though she longed to run to him and demand hereallytell her what was going on in his head. “I meant the way that ye’re feelin’. Nae the situation.”
“Ye’re makin’ assumptions,” he said flatly. The anger was there, but he was holding it close to his chest. “Ye have nae idea what I was thinkin’ nor what I was doin’.”
“Ye are so guarded,” she muttered. “Do ye nae remember the kisses we shared? Or are ye pretendin’ that they didnae happen?”
His jaw tightened, and he took a step closer. Then, like he was physically restraining himself from coming closer, he dropped his arms to his sides, his hands balling into fists. “I didnae forget. But both times were lapses of judgment on me part. It willnae happen again. I willnae allow it.”
The way he said it dug under Katherine’s skin. It was almost as if he didn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. Frowning, she settled her palm against the solid wood table.
“Ye trust me with Agnes,” she said slowly, her eyes tracing the lines of her splayed fingers, “but ye daenae trust me with yerself.”
“Theonlything that matters is that I trust ye with Agnes,” he said. When she looked at him once more, he was closer. Her body stiffened, but she refused to let him see her fear. “It doesnae matter whether or nae I trust meself around ye.”
“Liam—”
“Agnes is the only thing that matters,” he said, cutting her off. “I’m doin’ me best to honor me grandmother’s wishes. So we will have the ceilidh, and I will spend me life protectin’ me daughter.” He paused, his eyes boring into her. “And, for Agnes’s sake, I will keep ye safe. It isnae for me. It is for me grandmother and me daughter. Anythin’ that happens between me and ye is solely for her benefit. Anythin’ else was a lapse of judgment.”
He turned around suddenly, leaving the library without saying another word. Katherine stood, leaning against the table as her mind raced through everything he’d said, analyzing each change in his expression. She couldn’t understand any of it.
Sitting down slowly, she exhaled a long breath. Although she knew she wouldn’t be able to focus, she worried she might chase after him. She hadn’t realized how much she longed for his closeness until now. If she provoked him, he could grab her again and hold her close. He might kiss her once more.
But he said that the kisses didnae mean anythin’. I should believe him when he tells me somethin’, aye?
She didn’t know if she could, though. In his most explosive moments, she was sure she saw what he truly felt. And it wasn’t that their physical encounters hadn’t meant something.
* * *
I kent she was bold, but I didnae think she’d be so damned persistent.
Liam stomped through the corridors, searching for his daughter. He’d seen her briefly when he arrived earlier in the day, but he’d been pulled into a meeting with his council almost as soon as he stepped over the threshold. Now, he had to find out where she was passing her time.
