And he cursed himself for forcing her to leave.
* * *
Katherine practically ran to her chambers, her entire body shaking with the kind of terror she hadn’t felt since living with her father. While Liam may not have raised his hand to her, he’d been rough.
He’s grievin’. He doesnae ken how to handle it. I pushed much too far.
The sound of her lock engaging felt painfully loud. She wanted to make herself as small as possible. She’d never been one to hide, but her confusion was so intense that she needed to be alone. Liam’s strength was frightening, yet the way he’d kissed her was nothing short of terrifying.
“What did he mean?” she asked as if the empty room were capable of answering. “I ken he wasnae speakin’ about the vow he made to me.”
She stripped off the robe that she’d draped over her shoulders when she’d been summoned to Lady Agnes’s chambers. It wasn’t clear to her why she’d been amongst those called. Her connection with Lady Agnes was special to her, but surely, she couldn’t have been that significant in the woman’s life.
And she had already spoken to me. I think she kent then that it would be the last moment we shared alone.
“Wouldnae it be better for wee Agnes to have been awoken?” she muttered, walking over to the hearth and settling in front of the fire. She let the heat ground her, forcing her consciousness firmly into her body. “If anyone were to need more time with Lady Agnes, would it nae be her?”
As she stared into the flames licking up the sooty stone, she realized that she was never meant to speak with Lady Agnes one last time. She and Cillian had been called for Liam. In her last moments, the clan’s matriarch had been looking out for her grandson.
“Surely there’s something he’s nay tellin’ me,” she murmured, putting her hands out to warm her chilled fingers. “He’s let it turn into anger, and now, he’s takin’ it out on me. I daenae deserve that.”
Chapter Seventeen
The library door swung open, making Katherine jump and nearly drop the old map in her hands. She turned around, her heart fluttering hopefully. Her entire body deflated when she saw that it was one of the councilmen.
It had been nearly two weeks since Lady Agnes had passed. The funeral had been beautiful, and Katherine had found herself wishing she’d met the woman earlier. Each story she’d heard made her understand why Liam was so broken.
“Did ye need me?” Katherine asked the man, placing the map on the table in front of her.
“Nay,” he replied, walking to a shelf and plucking a ledger free. “Laird MacDougal has been lookin’ for ye.”
“He has?” Katherine said, sitting up straighter. She hadn’t seen him since the night that Lady Agnes died. After her funeral, Liam left the castle. Even though he’d been back for several days,he still hadn’t dined in the great hall, nor had he visited their shared chambers. “Is it relatin’ to Agnes’s lessons? I’ve been goin’ through the library to put together plans for our sessions.”
The man seemed unimpressed, almost as if he didn’t believe that Agnes’ education was something that should be taken so seriously. Apparently refraining from scoffing, he said, “Nay, he didnae inform me of what he needed from ye.”
Keeping a smile on her face despite the way his demeanor grated on her nerves, Katherine said, “I can go meet him now. Do ye ken where he is?”
“He will come to ye,” the man said, turning around to leave the room without giving her a second glance. “But he does seem pleased with yer work with his daughter. An educated lady is a valuable asset.”
“Aye,” she said loud enough for him to hear as he retreated.
Once she was left alone with the silence, she refocused on the map. Although Liam had refused to let her and Agnes go to the sea, Agnes remained very interested in it. Katherine had made an effort to gather as much information about the ocean surrounding them as she could, but there was very little material available.
Knowing she would see Liam again made it almost impossible to concentrate on the map in front of her. She pushed it aside and picked up a book instead. However, as she skimmed the pages, memories of the way he had kissed her flooded back.
It was like he was hungry, starving for her, and underneath it all had been some secret he was willing to resort to vitriol to protect. She tasted his anger. She tasted the sadness that went so much further than the loss of his grandmother. She tasted the bitterness of the restraint he held onto so tightly.
She sighed, closed the cover, and tapped her fingers against the sturdy leather binding. After a moment, she reached for her quill, inkpot, and parchment. Trying to quiet her racing mind, she drew circles starting in the corner. She’d nearly filled half the page when the library door swung open again.
This time, she sensed Liam’s presence before she looked away from the inked lines. He stood there, watching her with his arms crossed over his chest. His expression was unreadable, the line between his eyebrows deeper than she’d ever seen it before.
“Liam,” she said, breathy and almost disbelieving. It didn’t look like his time away had eased anything; in fact, he looked as if he’d become even stonier. “I didnae ken when ye’d be back.”
“Inheritance matters have been settled,” he told her, carefully keeping his distance. His gaze was guarded, his eyes showing her nothing but a competent, unfeeling leader. “The only affairs that are left to handle must be taken care of from me study.”
“It must be nice to be home,” Katherine said kindly.
Almost as soon as the words left her mouth, she realized she had misjudged the situation. He seemed to shut himself off evenmore. The curve of his mouth grew sharper, and for a moment, Katherine thought he would walk away.
