He slides down off his horse, pulls the reins over its neck, and leads it off the road. He’s not yet reached the forest’s edge when the figure steps out of it.
‘I told you they were coming.’ Loch’s voice is unusually coherent. ‘Told you, told you.’
Thessa comes into the light next, looking solely at Caz. ‘You were not as long as you said you would be.’
‘Couldn’t stay away,’ Caz replies with what looks like the slightest hint of a smile on her lips.
‘And more horses. Good. The wolf can walk alone.’
‘Actually,’ I say, my voice cracking slightly. I never thought I’d be sad to be without Elska. ‘I’m not sure the wolf will be with us anymore.’
Both Sannings frown, though it’s Stide who speaks. ‘But she is here now. With dog boy. They are both ready to leave.’
My eyes pass over the Sannings and land on a patch of shadows. At first all I see is the glowing circle, but tears fill my eyes and clog my throat as the sight of Kyor sitting astride Elska comes into focus.
The only being in his life who has never let him down.
‘You’re still here,’ I whisper, fighting the urge to run and wrap my arms around him in relief.
‘For now,’ Kyor replies coldly.
Chapter 44
I’m not sure what awakens me – bad dreams, I suspect, from the way my heart throbs.
Maybe worry about Kay. Or Benny. Something heavy, that’s for sure. And the sensation lingers there, only for a moment, before it fades again, stolen mostly by the cold.
I consider rolling over and trying to go back to sleep, but as I shift on my mat, I spot Caz sitting alone.
She’s on watch, so it’s hardly a surprise, but there’s something about the way she’s sitting with her shoulders bowed, her arms around her knees, staring into the dark as if she’s bracing for something terrible to come back out of it. And worse still, there’s a look in her eyes that tells me she might just accept it if it did.
Seeing that look on her face … I instantly give up on sleep. I get up, take my blanket with me, and settle down beside her.
Sometimes you don’t need words – you just need to know someone gives a fuck.
The fire has burned down to embers, and the night is cold enough that every breath feels difficult, like the air is slicing our lungs. There’s a pile of dry wood next to the pit. Moving forward, I grab a couple ofbranches and one heftier log, place them on the embers, then stoke them with a slow breath until the flames catch.
Once the fire is roaring again, I settle back by her side, shifting my blanket so it’s also across her knees.
‘I keep thinking I hear her,’ Caz whispers eventually. Her voice is flat, careful. ‘Like if I turn fast enough, she’ll be there, telling me I’m being an idiot.’
I don’t need to ask who she’s speaking of.
‘Me too,’ I admit.
‘I know she’s gone,’ she says. ‘Iknowthat. But when I think about … other things … it feels like a betrayal.’
‘Other things?’ The way she speaks, it’s as if there’s another person she’s been thinking about, but given our situation, I can’t imagine who that would possibly be.
The thought enters my mind, only to be replaced by the image of Caz’s smile when we returned to the Sannings.
Huh.
‘Thessa?’ I ask softly.
Her jaw clenches. ‘It’s too soon. Far too soon. I’d never do anything. But I’m letting Llin down just bytalkingto her.Lookingat another woman like that. I’m betraying her with every breath I still have, while Llinos has none.’
I let her words sit in the darkness for a moment, so that when I speak, I pray she will listen. This moment is important. ‘Caroline, I know you lost a lot of years when the pair of you were apart and that she diedwaytoo soon after you got her back, but do you think, for even one second, that Llinos would begrudge you happiness, however and whenever it comes to you?’
