I pop one of the pills and let myself fall onto my bed, shutting my eyes tight against the onslaught of emotions that crash over me like a wave. It’s true what I said to her—that I feel like I’mnothingif I can’t play—but telling her that Ihadnothing? Even I’m not stupid enough to think that’s true. Not really. I just let my own fears project themselves onto her. Just like the idiot I’ve always thought I am.
I close my eyes as I wait for the pill to kick in, willing my racing heart to steady, begging my wet eyes to go dry.
The last thing I think before I pass out is that I probably should have run after her.
It’s disorienting when I wakethe next morning, realizing I’ve slept the afternoon and the rest of the night away. I slowly push up from the bed with a twinge in my arm when it braces against the mattress, and it’s that twinge that seems to bring it all back. The doctor. The fight.Abby.
I roll to grab my phone from the nightstand where I’d chucked it yesterday, only to find it dead. Great. I drop my head in my hands, cursing myself all over again for all the things I said to Abby yesterday. I know the smart course of action would be to go find her and beg for her forgiveness, but how can I do that when she’s most likely at my sister’s place? It’s not like we made anything official yet. Chances are, I’d just upset hermoreby outing us like that.
So I plug my phone into the charger, telling myself I’ll text her when it comes back on, as pathetic of an attempt at forgiveness as that seems.
I shuffle out of bed with every intention of forcing food into my face before I make a game plan for how to fix my fuckup, so a sharp knocking at my door the second I reach the end of my hallway disorients me a little. I stare at the door as the banging starts up again, my heart racing a little, because could it beher?
I rush to the door and wrench it open, my disappointment no doubt showing on my face when I see that it’s just Dee. “Oh,” I say, slightly dejected. “Hey.”
“Don’t look so happy to see me,” she says snarkily.
She pushes past me without even asking to come in, her arms crossed over her chest and her lips pursed in a frown as she watches me close the door behind her.
“I want you to tell me what you did,” she says as soon as it’s shut.
My brows raise. “I’m sorry?”
“Abby. She showed up at our place last night looking like she got the shit kicked out of her emotionally. She refuses to tell us what happened, but I know you know.”
“And you just assume I had something to do with it?”
It’s a knee-jerk reaction, getting defensive, especially considering I hadeverythingto do with it. I turn away from her, heading to the kitchen so she can’t see the look of guilt written all over my face.
“Cut the shit, Jack,” Dee huffs. “I know there’s something going on between you two.”
I stumble a little, grasping the countertop and turning back to her with wide eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, come on.” She rolls her eyes. “Anyone with eyes can see that something happened between you. The way she ran after you at Aunt Bea’s? She never would have done that before. Not to mention the way she low-key told me off for calling you an idiot when she went to that last game with us.”
Hope flutters in my chest. “She did that?”
“The look on your face tells me that I’m right, so spill.”
“It’s not my business to tell you that,” I say firmly. “It’s Abby’s.”
“Holy shit,” Dee says, her mouth parting in surprise. “This is more than a sex thing, isn’t it. Youlikeher.”
I scrub a hand down my face. “Dee…”
“Oh God. Wait till Ian hears about this. He’s going to lose his ever-loving mind. After all the shit you gave us? You really went and—”
“Dee.”
Her gaze snaps up to find mine. “What?”
“You can’t say anything to Ian.”
“I tell Ian everything,” she says defensively.
“Well, you can’t tell him this. It’s Abby’s decision when she tells him. When she tellsanyone, for that matter.”
“Wow.” Dee looks slightly floored. “Youreallylike her.”
