And with that, everything goes black.
When I wake again,it is with a throbbing pain in my head.
“Welcome back, Miss Degard,” says someone. “You gave us all quite the scare, but luckily, you had a guardian angel.”
Let me die,I tell them in my mind while staying silent.
I am handed something to drink.
I move my head away.
I don’t want to feel better.
I deserve to feel the most horrific I can feel after everything I have done in my life. The mess of a life.
Grief and guilt surge through me as I think of El, the image of her and me standing cuddled up watching the Empire State Building, her laugh, her eyes, her smile.
I want to scratch my eyes out so I don’t have to see her in my mind.
I dig my face into my hands and scream.
My hands are being pulled away.
“Please be careful with the arm, it would jeopardize the healing.”
I don’t want to heal.
I need to run.
I sit up.
I am dizzy.
“Please, Miss Degard, lie down.”
“No,” I say and swing my legs out of the bed.
I am grabbed.
It makes me so angry.
Anger.
I want to destroy everything. Including myself.
“Someone help!” I hear the person shout.
And then there is her.
Jane.
Grasping my face.
“Look at me,” she says.
I don’t want to look at her.
The visual reminder of all my failures.
