I need to get away from her.
But she won’t let me.
“HPA Axis,” she says. “Recite what you know.”
I stare at her with wide eyes.
“HPA Axis,” she says again.
“Hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Yes,” she says. “What do you know?”
I don’t want to–
“Recite!” she says, louder.
“It is responsible for a chain reaction that can lead to the release of cortisol,” I almost scream at her. “The autonomic nervous system triggers the hypothalamus to release corticotropin-releasing hormone, which triggers your anterior pituitary to release adrenocorticotropic hormone, which then triggers the adrenal cortex to release cortisol. It can lead to dysfunction through traumatic experiences, depression, metabolic diseases, and dysfunction of the immune system.”
With every word, every sentence, the storm in me calms.
“Exactly,” she says. “And what are the effects of an extreme spike in cortisol on your brain, experience, and body in case of a traumatic experience?”
“Shrinking hippocampus, reduced prefrontal cortex activity, enlarged amygdala?—“
Enlarged amygdala.
Reduced prefrontal cortex activity.
“And how would that affect a person’s experience?”
“Maximized emotional experience, reduced to no rational thinking.”
“Yes,” she says, still holding my face. “Breathe with me.”
“In through your nose,” she says, and breathes in through her nose. I follow her guidance. “Out through your mouth.”
I do, as she says.
“In through your nose.”
“Out through your mouth.”
Some of the tension falls from my body.
I want to close my eyes.
But I can’t.
Because when I close my eyes, I see El.
El, who is?—
“Stay with me,” she interrupts my thoughts. “In through your nose.”
“Out through your mouth.”
“In through your nose.”
