Jay laughed.
The sound had Crisp smiling like an idiot. Jay had really asked Crisp to marry him. Crisp had agreed, and Jay gave him a soul-shaking orgasm. Life only needed one more thing to make his existence perfect: his brothers’ blessing.
The moment Jett bolted upright and yelled he was late for work, Jay’s eyes had shot open. Jett was out the door without a singlegoodbye. Jay had rolled over with every intention of going back to sleep. Then he had heard the shower, and he couldn’t have been more awake.
Jay had thought he wasn’t nervous until he was on one knee and Crisp said no. He hadn’t experienced a punch to his chest like that his entire life. Thank God Crisp hadn’t meant no to his proposal. For a second there, he had thought the pain would kill him. Now he held the entire world, and he honestly couldn’t contain the joy.
“Wow. You really said yes. Have you lost your mind?”
Crisp wheezed with laughter, making Jay realize he still squashed Crisp.
“Sorry.” He rolled to his side and then sat up. Jay jumped out of bed and jogged to the bathroom. He came back with a washcloth and cleaned their skin. He winced as he climbed back into bed afterward. “We really soaked this bedding. Come on.” He lifted Crisp from the bed and headed for the couch. The blanket he had woken up with was the perfect size and thickness to wrap them in and stay warm. With Crisp in his lap, Jay stared at him while love swelled in his chest. He couldn’t believe Crisp actually intended to marry him. Truthfully, they already lived as if they were married. An exchange of vows would change nothing, but knowing Crisp was legally bound to him meant everything to Jay. Crisp was special in every way to him.
“Your expression is so intense. What are you thinking?”
A smile snapped to Jay’s lips. “I’m looking at you. You make me feel intense things. I’m not surprised that shows on my face.”
Crisp’s blinding smile was worth the confession. “Your eyes are blood-red. That must’ve been some hard partying that went on last night.”
“I had fun.” That surprised Jay more than anyone else. “Jett was a good sport, especially since I cheated.”
Crisp groaned. “Oh no. You humiliated that poor guy, and you cheated?”
Jay shook his head. “That was only when we played poker. The makeup was a dare. Since neither of us has makeup, it was also an excuse to get him to take me out. Then I hit him with a second dare to shop with me like that while I bought your ring. I wasn’t too hard on him.”
Crisp’s smile warmed everything inside Jay. He wanted to stay just like this forever. “So what kind of dares did you have to do?”
Jay shrugged. “Nothing. I wasn’t dumb enough to choose dares. Sticking with truths is much better. Less risk.”
“Hmm. Smart. Would you accept a dare from me?”
There was nothing Jay wouldn’t do for Crisp. “Of course.”
“I dare you to kiss me.”
Jay furrowed his brow. “That’s not a real dare.”
Crisp’s eyebrows rose. “Are you refusing?”
To hell with that. Jay covered Crisp’s mouth with his. Once he started, Jay didn’t want to stop. He would never get too much of this. His heart yearned for more every second. Sometimes, the realization would strike him again how much life had changed. How much he had changed. Jay pulled away a hair. “You just own me. You know that, right?” He went back to kissing Crisp, stealing his chance to answer. It wasn’t like he needed to hear Crisp agree. The truth was the truth. If Crisp hadn’t carried him half dead from that house, even if Jay had somehow survived, this wouldn’t have been his future. Jay likely would have gone the same route as the bodies surrounding him. Since the Russian government had to believe he was dead, Jay would simply have sold his services through the underground. But this right here, this kiss that owned his entire soul, this was Crisp’s doing. Patience and kindness, with tons of friendship and human touch, had inch by inch stolen Jay. He wouldn’t want things any other way. Still, sometimes it fucked with his head a little. Sometimes it was hard for him to accept all the changes he had been through. Life didn’t feel real. Maybe he had died and somehow made it to heaven. Only the sheer knowledge of how that would never happen let him know this was reality now. He didn’t deserve this life. Jay still intended to cling to this beautiful thing for as long as possible anyway. Maybe he would win the lottery in life and Crisp would never see he loved a monster. Jay would do everything in his power to make that day never came.
Crisp chuckled against his lips. “It’s your turn to dare me to do something now.”
The heat in Crisp’s voice was hard to ignore, but Jay wasn’t ready to leave this spot. “You already accepted the ultimate dare when you agreed to marry me.”
Crisp rolled his eyes. “That wasn’t a challenge.”
“Yeah?” Jay couldn’t stop smiling. “Yet you think my kissing you is?”
“Oh, well.” Crisp sniffed and then shrugged. “I just wanted a kiss.”
Damn. Jay really was the happiest man alive. “Yeah, well. I just want to marry you.”
“It’s a good thing neither one of us is weak.”
They held each other’s stare. Jay swore he could hear Crisp’s thoughts. They matched his. Things were about to get very real, and they were equally up to the challenge.
Chapter Nine
