I take in one more breath before shifting into reverse with a trembling hand.
Collin’s waiting outside the garagewhen I pull up.He’s beside my door before I can open it.Seeing him brings on a new swell of emotions, and the tears start flowing again.I collapse into his arms when I stand.
“Hey, what’s this all about?”Collin soothes, rubbing my back.“C’mon, let’s go inside.”
He leads me into the garage with an arm around my waist.I can barely feel my feet on the gravel.
Collin pulls out the cracked leather swivel stool, patched with duct tape, and guides me to sit.He leans against the side of the car, his voice gentle.“Talk to me.What happened?”
My thoughts are spinning.I don’t know where to begin.How to explain what happened.I can barely understand it myself.But maybe Collin’s seen it before?He’s been around them so many times.
“Have you ever seen Jonathan angry?”
Collin smirks.“Is this a rhetorical question?”When I don’t smile back, his teasing shifts into worry.“Did he do something—” He stops himself before asking it.“I have.He’s intense when he’s just being normal, but he’s intimidating as hell when he’s angry.”
Then he remembers.“You went to his house for dinner tonight.”
I nod.“Have you ever seen him and his dad… fight?”
“That’s their love language,” he says, still trying to keep a humorous tone, like making me laugh will put all of this into perspective.“You know how much he can’t stand to be around his dad.So, I’m sure it was hella uncomfortable, sitting at a dinner table with them.”
“That’s not—I mean, have you ever seen them actually… fight?”
The humor evaporates from his eyes.“I mean, not really.Argue?All the time.”
I close my eyes, not wanting to think about it.The last thing I want is to picture the flash of fear in Hal’s eyes when Jonathan—
“Sadie?”
I open my eyes.Collin is officially worried.He hands me a pack of pocket tissues.I’ve started crying again.Or maybe I haven’t stopped.I take one out and blow my nose and use another to sop up the dampness from my raw cheeks.
“Maybe it’s not as bad as you think,” Collin says, attempting to comfort me.“I mean, yeah, sometimes, Hal will slap Jonathan upside the head.Or give him a bit of a shove.Nothing bad.”
I’m confused, not because what he’s saying is confusing, but because he’s making it soundacceptable.“You think that’s okay?”I can’t hide the judgment from my tone.
This puts Collin on guard.He crosses his arms.
“What do you mean?It’s not like he hurts him.It’s just when he’s annoyed we don’t follow his instructions exactly or when Jonathan talks back to him.”
“Does he ever do this to you?”
Collin releases a humorless laugh.“No.”
“But it’s fine if he does this to Jonathan?Humiliates him?Is aggressive toward him?”
I don’t know what caused the argument inside the garage—what was said, what wasn’t.But the tension between Jonathan and his father began the moment I stepped through the door.Every jab, disguised as playful teasing, landed like a slap.Each time he questioned why I was with Jonathan, Jonathan reached for me, as if to make sure I was still there.
I couldn’t see it—their relationship still too unknown to me.But IfeltJonathan’s every reaction.And as soon as he could, he swept me away, separating us from his father, like he didn’t want me anywhere near the man who so boldly insults his son and calls it a joke.Probably afraid I might believe the untruths.
“You’re not understanding.This is how Hal is.Jonathan doesn’t respect his dad.And he lets everyone know it.”The casualness of the statement suspends me in shock.
I blink.Collin, my loving friend who I can rely on to cheer me up, can’t really think this, can he?Believethat violence is the best way to earn respect?
“He’s basically asking for it.He knows what will happen.”
When the words fall out of his mouth, I feel sick.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
