“I know,” he says, his voice quiet.“Took me a while to believe it.”His warm hand presses to my lower back, reminding me we’re experiencing this together, as we did back when it happened.“Do youwantto remember?”
I release a breath, trying to loosen the knot in my chest.“The truth’s hard to ignore.I had a nightmare about it this morning.Reminding me.”
“I had those a lot after.”
“Me too.”
“Why didn’t we ever talk about it?”
“Because it’s not our thing.”I give him a small smile of regret.
“Can it be?Can we talk?”His request is gentle and earnest.
“About what?”
“Everything?”
“Everything?”I repeat like he’s asking for the impossible.
“Eventually,” he says with a quirk of his mouth.
He returns his attention to the bench.
I lean into Jonathan, his arm securing me, and address the name engraved on the plaque.“I’m sorry this happened to you.”
Jonathan kisses my temple.He pays his own respect.“I’m sorry I was too late.”
We walk back into the sunlight, to the music and laughter, our hearts heavy.Jonathan pauses and pulls me into a hug.“Ready to be back with our friends?”I nod, placing a kiss over his heart.
“What the hell are you two doing over there?”Gavin calls to us.
My mom waves us over as everyone lines up in front of the water for a picture.I take each of them in and remember why I love them.And let the warmth of that love fill me, expanding my heart.
Ibet you can’t do it!”
“Are you afraid, Austin?”
“Yeah, you gonna cry?”
“What are they doing up there?”I ask, shielding my eyes from the sun to get a better look at my tormentors teasing someone else, or maybe each other, to jump from the dangerous height.
“Being stupid,” Collin says, rifling through the cooler.I can’t imagine there’s anything left.He and Jonathan ate just about everything in there.
“We should go soon,” Jonathan says.“I think Sadie’s getting a sunburn.”
“Am not!”I argue without even looking at my pale skin.Jonathan presses a finger to my pink shoulder and leaves a white fingerprint.Well,nowI’m red.
“Who’s that with Jonas?”I ask Jonathan, trying to hide the squeak in my voice caused by him touching me.
“Knock it off!”comes from the cliff.“I’m serious.”
“Oooh, he’s serious.”
“I don’t know,” Jonathan says with a sigh.“Should I go check?”
“Hey!I said stop!”
I stand at the urgent plea.But then I see Livvy, lying on a blanket closer to the cliffs, and I sit back down, not wanting to bring attention to myself.Livvy lives on the same street as me, but we’ve never hung out.She seems way older.I feel like a kid around her even though we’re the same age.
