“You’re right. What I did was shitty.” He shrugs and it infuriates me.
I want to scream but my dignity matters so I just take a deep breath and move on. “What you did doesn’t matter. Not anymore.” My voice shakes as I say it and I knew one day this fight would come… Didn’t know it would be on his terms and not mine though.
“Yeah, Pet, it does. Look at yourself in the mirror. See the affect I have on you and tell me that again.”
I feel his hand touch my hip and I would rather die than feel this heartache. Heartache for the girl who needs his touch like her next breath and for the woman he left shattered.
“Mya?” I hear Micha shout my name from the doorway of the studio and my stomach sinks to my feet, and it works like a bucket of ice water.
“Up here, babe.” I shout, my eyes never leaving Sam’s as I take a few steps back and watch as recognition of a real boyfriend takes hold.
That’s right mother fucker, as far as either of us is concerned I moved on.
“Hey, beautiful.” He makes his way to me and kisses my cheek before looking to Sam.
“Hi! I’m Micha, Mya’s boyfriend.” He puts his hand out to offer Sam a shake, but Sam looks at it like there is shit smeared on it.
“This is Sam. He is a friend of my brother and Jen’s.” I explain and step between them, placing my back to Sam and kissing Micha on the cheek. “You ready to head to the restaurant?”
Micha steps back taking my hand in his. “Sure. I can wait while you finish up here.” He says and looks back at Sam.
The fierce look on his face said he wasn’t impressed.
“We are done here. Sam has been gone for a while. He came to say hello and catch up.” I explain again and look back to Sam. “We only needed five minutes babe; we are done here.” I take his hand in mine and stand strong when Sam moves to leave.
“We will talk more, Mya. Soon.” He looks to Micha. “Nice to meet you, Mike.”
I bite my cheek to keep from screaming at him and telling him to fuck off out of my studio.
“Micah.” I say with a firmness I can’t mask.
“Right.” He says and leaves me standing there shocked and unstable, like always.
Mya
I have barely touched my food let alone spoken since we left the studio. We stopped at my house so I could shower and change before going out. I stayed locked in my bathroom the entire time pretending to get ready. Really, I cried in the shower for ten minutes before forcing myself to push the pain down and go out with my attentive, somewhat arrogant boyfriend.
“Babe, are you okay?” Micha asks as he pours us both another glass of wine. I hate wine, but he doesn’t know that.
I nod and set my fork down when I look at him. “Just tired and sore.”
“You know…” He says but stops short and leans forward to take another bite.
“What?”
“I know who that was in the dance studio Mya. I never lived under a rock babe. I know he is your ex and recently out of prison for killing his child’s murderer.”
He says it like he is talking about the weather. When I say it or acknowledge it, I feel like the rugs been ripped away from my feet. Whatever I feel for Sully, the anger and pain even the resentment all gets washed away in my empathy to what he has lived through. There is nothing simple about Sully’s past.
“I didn’t mean to keep it a secret or anything. I just didn’t feel like that was the time to confront it.” I say hoping he isn’t angry. Micha and I are still feeling each other out. Yeah, we made things official about a month ago, but we haven’t had the ex-talk or any deep talk for that matter.
He nods and sips from his wine. “Do I need to be worried about this?”
I know I should have answered quickly, but I pondered it for all of three seconds which now implies he should worry.
“I guess so?” He huffs and drops his napkin on the table as he leans back. Body language tells me he wants distance from me now.
Great!
