“I’m sorry.”His voice fills the dark.
“Apologize to Coach when he wakes up.”
“I mean about the deal with Harlan.I’m sorry I made you think I didn’t trust you to choose for yourself.”
The words settle on me, seeping into my skin.I don’t have time to guard against them, and there’s no protection from the raw emotion in his voice.
“Tonight’s not about us.”
I drive him home.
The roads are dark and quiet.I don’t put on the radio.
When we pull up to the building, the garage door lifts automatically.From memory, I navigate to the spot right next to the elevator.
We ride up together, and I sneak a look at him in the fluorescent lights.
I’ve never seen him like this.
He’s always strong.
Now, he’s suffering.
I know what it’s like to have someone ripped from your life with zero notice.To be talking to them one moment, laughing or arguing or debating, and the next they’re gone.
That’s why I won’t let him face this alone, no matter what’s between us.
The wide hallway is lined with subtle, expensive lights.Clay takes his keys back and unlocks the door.The lights click on automatically to reveal the familiar, beautifully decorated space.The foyer leads into the white granite-swathed kitchen and, on the other side, the massive living room with low couches and a huge TV.
“Are you hungry?Thirsty?”
He shakes his head.
I take in what he’s wearing.His knee looks swollen.“You should ice that.”
“Later.”
“At least have a shower.”
Clay pulls his sweatshirt off over his head, the jersey beneath coming with it.
An angry purple splotch has my breath catching.“What happened?”
“I dunno.”
I stroke a finger across it.He seems strong, but he’s human too.
I walk through his place to the master bedroom and bathroom.The light turns on when I step inside.I reach the shower and turn the handle.
Behind me, he stands stock still, his gaze fixed partway down the wall.I start to brush past him, but he grabs my wrist.
“Don’t go.”His thumb strokes my pulse point.His gorgeous dark eyes are full of fear and guilt and regret.“I know I don’t deserve it.But I can’t watch you leave.Not tonight.”
He wraps me in his arms, crushing me hard to his chest.My heart hammers between us, my eyes stinging with tears.
In the time we’ve been together, he’s never hugged me.If you can even call this a hug.It’s like he’s clinging to a rock to avoid being swept out to sea.
I know what it’s like to lose people and blame yourself.I want to hold him here for as long as I can.
