“I care about you.So fucking much,” he rumbles into my neck.“You wanted your sister back and a fresh start.I’m a lightning rod and a mess.Your best shot was staying far away from me.”
His words gut me.I know he believes he was helping, even if that was a fucked-up way to do it.
The tattoos twining around his arms and chest could be ropes tying him down.
I’m not ready to let it go, but I can’t retreat from him either.It’s harder and harder to keep up my guard, even if my heart will get bruised.
“I didn’t want to stay away from you,” I whisper against his bare chest.My fingers dig into the smooth skin of his back.
Clay swallows hard enough that I feel it.
“Me either.”
It’s not your fault, I want to tell him.
I show him instead.
20
CLAY
Iwake to the sun coming in the gap at the bottom of my curtains.
In a dark wave, it all comes rushing back.
Coach’s accident.
Pacing the hospital for hours.
Him hooked up to machines, silent and lifeless.
Cutting through the darkness, Nova driving me home.
She’s next to me, her skin warm and soft.
She’s my strength.
When I was drowning, it was her face that appeared over me.
She let me hold her for fucking hours, slept next to me while I tossed and turned.
I love her.
Thoroughly and fucking completely.
The realization isn’t a lightning bolt but a steady truth, one that’s been humming in my veins for longer than I knew.
My phone buzzes on the bedside table.I exhale when I see the caller ID.I shift out of bed and pull on gray sweatpants, taking the phone to the other room so I don’t wake Nova.
“Yeah,” I answer as I pull the door shut after me.
Harlan’s voice comes down the line.“Wade.I’ve talked with James, and we want you to address the team.”
“Why not Jayden?”
“We want Coach to have privacy at this time.Chloe’s issuing a statement to say that he’s out for personal reasons,” he goes on as though I didn’t ask.“But first, you need to talk to them.”
“And say what?They were there.”
