He slips back to the emergency department and Tanner nods toward the door.
“What?” I question.
“I’m driving you home,” he states and begins to walk away.
“I said I can get Gwen?—”
“Hannah. I am going that way. I have to swing by the fair and make sure my mom closed everything up anyway.”
The disappointment is heavy in my gut when I accept his pity convenience ride. We don’t speak until we are sitting in the parking lot back behind the apartment once again. Neither of us makes a move to get out.
“I’ll let Lauren know you came,” I tell him and he frowns at me.
“I wasn’t there for her,” he says, and there’s a hint of annoyance in his voice. “Don’t get me wrong, I care about her, and I was worried, but I wasn’t sitting around for hours in the waiting room for her.”
“What do you mean?” I know what he means, I just need him to spell it out. I just needsomething.
He runs his hand down his jaw. “When you were leaving, you looked at me and I just, I needed to be wherever you were.”
“You went and sat in the hospital waiting room for that whole time because of me?”
“Not because of you, Hannah.” He picks up his hand and motions to me with the first ounce of true frustration he has shown toward me. “Foryou. Was that not where we were headed? Being there for each other? Being on each other’s team?”
“I’m not the one avoiding you,” I say quietly. “I don’t have unanswered texts and calls from you in my phone last I checked.”
His jaw clenches and I almost spot tears in his eyes. “Yeah, but you are the one leaving."
Beg me to stay,I think. If he knows I’m leaving, why isn’t he asking me stay? Because right now, with tears blurring my vision, I can’t promise I won’t give in. And I open my mouth to argue, fight, anything. But before I can utter a single word, he unlocks the doors and gets out. Leaving me in his passenger seat, unmoving. When I finally make myself get out of his truck, I leave the carnations behind.
Upstairs, I find Gwen and Winnie at the coffee table with a pizza, Uno cards and in a deep conversation about which card is a nine or a six, despite the line under each number.
“Hey you two. Did you scare Mayben and Jackie off?”
“They just left. Mayben was falling asleep. How is everything?” Gwen asks.
“Good. She’s good. What’s going on here?”
“Aunt Gwen says that the six has the bubble on the bottom, but I thought the nine had the bubble on top.”
“That’s the same thing—” I begin to say but Gwen just nods with a laugh.
She points to the pile of cards off to the side. “We went through and got rid of every nine and six in the deck.”
“Remember, we said six has a big belly and nine has a bighead because he’s older.” I ruffle Winnie’s hair. “It’s bath time for you. Do you want help? Or do you want to do it your?—”
“Myself.” She pouts and begrudgingly stands and goes, leaving us with beers on the couch.
“So.” Gwen sighs and leans back. “I mean, I know Tanner is in love with you, but what is actually going on?” She says it so narrowly and I can’t help but be surprised.
“Nothing,” I tell her. “Not anymore at least. He ended things and my ex is making sure that I can’t move on yet.”
Gwen turns the bottle in her hands and looks over at me, analyzing me. Only like an Atwood can.
“Growing up and still now, Tanner is the best person I know, and he doesn’t go down without a fight.”
I scoff. The past two years have been him doing just that. Fighting. But now, maybe, he’s just finally hit his limit. Just like my dad did. Just like Ethan did. I’ll be damned if I beg a man to stay when they don’t want to, again.
“I don’t know what else you guys have going on, but nobody, and I mean nobody, has seen him as happy as he’s been this summer. Even since he came home from the city after he met you, he’s been different.”
