He’ll use her up and then spit her out when there’s nothing left to gain from her. Because, strangely enough, love is never enough. Was never enough for them. Won’t ever be enough. Men are their highest priority in a relationship with a woman who prioritizes them. While she becomes an option, he remainsthe priority for them both. Josiah has put his needs aside to make sure you have everything you need.
He wants to see you, just not in there. He wants to be with you, just not in there. He wants to love on you, just not in there. He wants to be around you, just not in there. So, don’t worry, Range. Not even a little. This is just another green flag. You’ve been fired, but for such good reason.
I was rewarded with the light of day again. As my sister peeled out of my winding driveway, I closed the door of my home. With my back pressed against it, I closed my eyes a second time, needing a bit more of him. He felt so real behind my eyelids.
“I’ve missed you, Sunshine.”
His words were so easy to cling to because they were genuine. I could feel their origins deep down in my bones. They all came from a place of tenderness, love, selflessness, and consideration.
Hanging onto Josiah’s love, I reopened my eyes and made my way through the foyer. However, my reflection in the mirror halted my stride. I peered at the small bump that was slowly becoming more noticeable. It replaced my slightly chiseled abs, announcing new life.
Two beautiful babies were growing inside of me. The thought was overwhelming. I blinked away the tears as my nostrils widened with happiness. I’d always felt purposeful, but my new title gave life new meaning. An expecting mom hadn’t been on my list of accolades to strive for, but it was the most precious one of them all.
I was slowly beginning to learn the sacredness of pregnancy and the agonizing pride that accompanied it. My contributions to the world went far beyond the courtroom. The delivery room was where I’d win my biggest case.
There. There. I coaxed my emotions.
With the back of one hand, I swiped a lone tear from my right eye. With the other, I held my growing belly. It was so pretty. So perfect. So adorable in the two-piece linen outfit that featured a cropped top. The roundness of my stomach was just underneath the end of the breathable fabric.
I love you.
I love you deeply.
I love you in every dimension.
My thoughts were quiet, yet they shook every bone in my body. My skin quivered. My heart rattled. My chest caved.
In every way.
In every lifetime.
Forever.
No matter what.
No matter where.
No matter when.
No matter how.
The vibration of my cell in the pockets of the pants that were designed with tall girls in mind and flared so perfectly became the source of my attention. I retrieved it slowly, unsure who was trying to make contact.
My resolve softened as I read the name on the screen. A brown heart rested beside the last letter. I wondered if the disruption of my nervous system would ever expire when he was involved.
I hope not. I admitted.
Signs of life greeted me on the other end. It was a pleasant surprise to hear from Josiah in the early hours of the day. I’d noticed weeks ago that he called me when his unit was locked down. Because of the behavioral issues at the facility, a mandatory curfew for inmates had been implemented. Cells were locked by nine each night.
My temperature spiked. While my left hand held my phone, my right thumb and index finger began to rotate, making circles around each other.
Darkness surrounded me as I tried to grab hold of myself. The man on the other end made that incredibly, utterly difficult. Still, with a shattered nervous system, I waited for the inevitable. I waited for him to piece me back together after he’d pulled me apart.
“I’m sorry, Sunshine.”
His tone was disheartening. So were his words. My breath got caught in my throat. My eyebrows cinched inward. I longed for more. I needed more.
More words.
