I didn’t have the gall to face her. Instead, I cowered and headed for the door before she could comprehend what I’d just revealed. To my surprise, Range was quick on her feet. Her body pressed against the door I was aiming for.
Open.I demanded, quietly.
Open.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m doing what I should’ve done the first day you walked into this room and piqued my interest. I was a coward then. I can’t be a coward now.”
“Josia–”
I leaned in, nearing her ear.
“I just made love to you in a conference room used for privileged visits between attorneys and clients, Range. I don’t want my love to do that to you. To lower your standards. To force you to settle. To cause you to feel anything less than you are, baby. Because, to me, you deserve better than my situation. Better than these walls. Better than you’re receiving right now.”
“So wha– what are you saying, Josiah? You’re breaking up with m–?”
“I’d slit my throat before I make such a foolish mistake, Range.”
“Then explain yourself!”
“I’m saying that I don’t want you here anymore. I don’t want my woman or my children in this shithole. Neither do I want you stressing over a case that can be dismissed without you in that courtroom. Your work has not gone unnoticed, and I am grateful for all you’ve done. But your role as my attorney ends today. I want you happy, Range. And healthy. And, growing. And resting. I want your feet up. Not clacking across this fucking floor ever so often.”
“But you have court in five weeks, Josiah.”
Bzzzzt.There it was.
The pain in those orbs nearly made me regret every word I’d said.
“I’d be less of a man to keep bringing you back to a place that not even I want to be. Don’t step foot inside of this place again, Range. Not for me and not for anyone else. Not as long as you’recarrying our children. Go home. Take care of yourself and take care of our babies. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
I placed a hand on her cheek.
“I love you… in every dimension.”
EIGHTEEN
Muah.
Muah.
“Text me when you make it home.”
“Will do. Get some rest.”
I watched from afar as Rather got situated in her vehicle. My body leaned into the door, sharing the job of holding my weight as thoughts of him crept back into my head. I closed my eyes, squeezing my lids together as I attempted to get rid of them.
It was pointless.
Rather’s visit was confirmation that I was taking the firing far too offensive. Josiah hadn’t meant any harm. He knew I was his best chance at coming home, but he risked his freedom to make sure I brought home healthy babies. Unnecessary stresswas not accepted in his rulebook. While I understood his logic and appreciated his strictness, it was complicated.
I found it difficult to stay away from Josiah. My visits weren’t necessary. They never were. However, it was him I was most interested in during his visits. Not his case. He’d walk away a free man regardless. I’d been hired to clean a mess, and I would. Thoroughly. In the courtroom and at any address that might’ve been involved in the crime that led us to the courtroom.
I inhaled, allowing Rather’s words to sit with me. Sometimes I hated when others were so accurate about my circumstances, but I never allowed my personal disdain to smear the message. I got it. I always got it. This time, it was more of the same.
Would you rather he add stress onto your plate or begin removing it, piece by piece? Even at his own expense? We’ve heard it a hundred times or more, Range. The moment his back is against the wall will reveal everything you need to know about a man. Josiah, no matter how tardy his observation was, refuses to drag you down to the level he’s being subjected to. He wants to keep you on the pedestal your upbringing and inherited lifestyle require.
He doesn’t want to pull you down with him. He wants to find his way up to you. Men have a tendency to drag women by the skin of the scalp to the trenches they designed for themselves, especially when she promised never to go back or has never been there before. And I’m not meaning physically… only. I mean mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. Financially. He will strip her of her stability and her peace.
