I don’t see Oliver anywhere but we didn’t lock down a particular time or place to meet, so there’s no need to freak out. It took a minute to get used to the idea of not making plans in advance and being flexible with my expectations but I’m there now. At first, I felt like I was going crazy not being able to text people my every waking thought, but I’ve already stopped automatically reaching for my phone every time I have three seconds of downtime.
Filtering through the party alongside my friends, I do my best to forget I’m wearing nothing but a towel and take in my first Hemden University bop. So far, so high school dance, only with legal alcohol, and considerably more flesh on display. But then I went to a very conservative high school. If your skirt didn’t pass the fingertip test, even in senior year, you were sent home to change. Not that my folks would’ve allowed me out of the house in the first place in a skirt that short. If they could see me now, my dad would have a seizure. Thinking about my folks is a sure-fire way to kill the mood so I decide I simply will not.
‘We should load up, avoid this shitshow for as long as humanly possible,’ Jenna advises when we make it to the front of the line. ‘I’m thinking bottles, easy to hold, can’t fob us off with short measures. Alice?’
‘Solid plan, three of whatever’s on offer, please.’
Once upon a time, the thought of someone ordering three drinks at a time for themselves might’ve freaked me out. Now it’s just another Saturday. Double-fisting is the standard at Members on the weekend andthank GodAlice told me what that means here before I said it out loud to anyone else.
‘Can I try that?’ I ask when Jenna passes Alice her first hard seltzer.
She pauses, the drink almost against her lips.
‘This?’
I nod. ‘I just want to taste it.’
‘You can, but please remember what curiosity did to the cat.’ She hands over one of the untouched bottles with an air of caution. ‘This is not the sort of place where you want to get shit-faced for the first time.’
‘Mostly because a lot of people here will be getting shit-faced for the first time,’ Jenna says when she rejoins us, carrying three bottles of her own. ‘I thought you didn’t drink?’
‘It’s not some big moral stance. I tried it at a couple of parties when I was younger and didn’t love it. But that was so long ago, maybe things have changed. Don’t worry, I’m not planning to get wasted.’
‘You’re perfectly entitled to get wasted if you want to, you’re twenty years old,’ she reminds me. ‘But don’t do it just because everyone else is.’
‘Jenna Hitchens,’ I say with surprise. ‘Are you giving me an inspirational speech?’
She grunts as she scans the crowd. ‘Hardly. If no one at this party has any weed, I’m going straight home.’
Bringing the bottle to my lips, I tip it back and take a sip. It tastes kind of like lemonade, but so sugary I can feel the liquid coating my teeth. I swallow and there’s a medicinal aftertaste I don’t love at all. It’s an effort to keep it down as I hand the bottle back to Alice.
‘What do we think?’ she asks, eyes dancing.
‘If Iamgonna to start drinking, it won’t be that,’ I reply, screwing up my face. ‘It’s so sweet. How can you drink three of them?’
‘With a lot of practice and sheer determination.’ She taps her bottle against my soda then smacks a kiss to my forehead. ‘Come on, you big lush, I want to dance.’
She’s not alone. There’s a DJ on a stage at the front of the room, playing one of my favourite songs, and when Alice makes a beeline for the dance floor, Jenna and I follow. Coloured lights swirl from the ceiling and we’re lost in a sea of bodies, hot skin pressed against hot skin, arms slung around each other’s necks, back to back with strangers, no such thing as personal space. I let my mind roam back to the first night at Members, the crowded dance floor and endless strangers and remember how alien it felt. Now I’m part of it, lost in the music, arms and legs and lips, laughing, smiling, eyes closed. I don’t need to see to know where I am. I’m home.
I’ve never been so happy in my life.
34
Ethan
‘I hope you’re ready for this.’ Josh, one of our defenders, throws a grin over his shoulder as we roll up to the ref, the entire first team together. ‘We’re going to be drowning in pussy in five minutes flat.’
‘I only wish he meant it,’ Michael says under his breath at my side. ‘Josh Clarke, he died as he lived, being a twat.’
‘And doing what he loved,’ I add, and Michael scoffs.
‘He talks a good game but if he was shagging as much as he says he is, his knob would’ve fallen off by now. I know there’s no shortage of Hemden froupies but have you ever actually seen him with one of them?’
‘No and I don’t want to. I’ve seen enough of his pasty ass and uncut dick to last me a lifetime.’
Michael tuts and shakes his head. ‘The struggles of the American exchange student. Did no one tell you most people aren’t circumcised here? I’m sure it’s more of a shock for the ladies. Someone ought to take Mia to one side and let her know before it’s too late.’
It’s almost enough to make me turn around and head straight back to my room, but I made a deal with myself. Mia doesn’t want me. Mia wants the douche. I don’t want Mia completely out of my life so I will try to be her friend, and since the last time we hung out we literally baked cookies, I don’t think there’s any danger of things getting physical between us ever again. I have never been sowholesome in my life. If my old friends could’ve seen the two of us, dunking a freshly baked chocolate chip in a glass of cold milk, they would’ve dragged me away and had me committed.
