‘Yes.’
‘And no one can see my ass?’
Hands on my shoulders, Alice turns me around to inspect the back of my costume.
‘They’d have to really want to see it. And they should want to see it because it’s fantastic, Mia, have you been doing squats?’
When I tug on the hem of the fabric that has been carefully wrapped and pinned around my body, she shrieks and slaps my hands away.
‘Do not mess with my creation! We don’t have time to put this on you again if you yank it off.’
‘Chill, Mia, you look amazing.’ Jenna speaks up from her spot on my bed without looking at me. She’s far too invested in painting her toenails the same iridescent silver shade as mine and Alice’s. ‘Totally hot. I definitely would.’
‘And she’s very picky.’ Alice gives me a look to reinforce the compliment.
I press my hands to my exposed collarbones, panicking when I don’t feel my bracelet before remembering Alice insisted I take it off because it didn’t fit the aesthetic.
‘Hot or not,’ I say. ‘I feel extremely naked.’
Preparing myself, I turn towards the mirror to see the result of Alice’s work. I’m wearing nothing but my underwear, a strapless bra, a towel and a pair of slides, and the reason I feel extremely naked is because I am extremely naked, at least for me. Still, I got off lightly compared to Jenna, who is bundled up in what looks like Saran wrap and if I didn’t know she had flesh-toned underwear underneath, I would truly think she was about to head out and flash the entire student body. Alice is somewhere in the middle, wrapped in an iridescent fabric with plastic bubbles stuck all over her body. Supposedly, we are the three stages of taking a shower. In reality, I don’t know if the concept is as easy to grasp as Alice thinks, but at least we’ve met the requirements for the party. These outfits are definitelynotclothes.
‘Once Bryn arrives in his rubber duck costume, it will make a lot more sense,’ she promises, and I try not to look too bitter about losing the game of rock, paper, scissors that culminated in Bryn walking away with the most coverage of all.
‘And remind me how Michael got out of this?’ I ask, examining the back of my outfit one more time.
‘Because Michael and all the rest of the knobbers on the football team will turn up in their football kit which is flagrant flouting of the rules,’ Jenna scowls. ‘Kits are still clothes. The whole point of a costume party is to dress as someone you aren’t.’
Alice adds, ‘Nothing like a good fancy dress party to shed any lingering inhibitions left over from freshers’ fortnight.’
I take another look in the mirror and try to feel good about what I see. My parents would drop down dead if they saw me dressed like this. Then they would come back to life to kill me so they could punish me for all eternity.
‘And we’re ready,’ Alice declares, searching my desk for the purse she spent an hour covering in loofahs. ‘We should take a photo.’
She pulls a digital camera out of the purse as Jenna prises herself off the bed and bounds across the room to squeeze the three of us into the perfect single-frame selfie.
‘Tonight is going to be class,’ she says as she wipes a speck of mascara away from underneath my eye. ‘You’re going to have the best time, I promise. Are you meeting Oliver there or is he coming here?’
‘Meeting him there. He has to set up with the band.’
‘Maybe he’ll electrocute himself accidentally,’ Alice suggests, earning a warning look from Jenna. ‘Just a mild electric shock,’ she amends, chastened. ‘I wasn’t wishing him dead or anything.’
‘I might’ve been,’ Jenna says. ‘But it wouldn’t hold up in court.’
My friends aren’t shy when it comes to their feelings about me and Oliver but it’s only because they don’t see him the same way I do. He’s not their type, that much is obvious. Jenna has mentioned exes across the spectrum, but it kind of seems as though she’s locked in on an endless flirtation with Michael, who is admittedly his physical antithesis. And Alice? Who even knows what she’s into? She never talks about it and I would never push.
But things with me and Oliver could not be better. As someone who has suffered through a million unrequited crushes, it suddenly feels like I’ve been let in on some secret the rest of the world was keeping from me. There was a guy, technically my boyfriend, in my senior year of high school. But truthfully, I don’t think we were ever that into each other. He was a nice guy but losing my virginity was a task to be completed, I didn’t expect it to be good and it wasn’t. In fact, the deeply stupid and thankfully one-off close call with Ethan was one thousand times hotter than anything we ever did. But dating the person you like and knowing they like you too? Insanity. If they could bottle this feeling, no one in theworld would need an SSRI. I’m so happy and horny I’m practically ready to explode. My poor vibrator cannot cope with this level of demand.
Tonight, I’ve decided, will be the night. I have new lingerie, I have condoms, I even have the morning-after pill, provided by the student health centre, just in case. I am more than prepared. I am also impossibly nervous. It might not be my first time, but I’m more anxious now than I ever was then. Because it means something, because I like Oliver so much, and because I need to get laid so badly, I almost hooked up with Ethan.
‘You ready?’ Alice asks, adjusting her bubbles.
‘So ready,’ I confirm, following her and Jenna out of my room.
The ref is unrecognizable, all the tables and benches cleared away and swathes of silver fabric draped from the walls to create a fantasy bubble ready to be burst by a few hundred students. Music bumps out of huge speakers set up throughout the room and there is already a sea of bodies, swaying and grinding to the beat in the semi-darkness. I can just about make out a few familiar faces, some kids from my history of English class, regulars at Members, Anders, talking to the blonde Texan I met at orientation. Credit to the Hemden crew, folks know how to get creative here. There are dresses made from bubble wrap, electrical tape, paper towels, and one guy has made a toga out of what looks like a Twister mat. I can only wonder where he’s hidden the spinner.
‘Do you want something to drink?’ Alice yells over the music. ‘Coke? Lemonade?’
‘I’ll come with you to the bar.’ I have to shout to make myselfheard, but she nods, taking mine and Jenna’s hands in hers as we slip through the crowd, linked together.
