“It was mutual.” My friendship with Russ is unlike anything else in my life. He’s more family to me than most of my family members are. “I needed him, too. He always accepted me for who I was.” There’s never been any secrets between us. “But I also liked coming over because of you.”
“Me? I figured you two hated me. I gave you so much shit and never let you play my video games.”
“That’s true, but you were also the reason I realized I was gay.”
Chase looks shocked, but not upset or disturbed, so I continue. “I had such a crush on you. You were so cool and incredibly good-looking. Any attention you gave me was enough for me to believe that something might happen between us.” It’s dizzying to think that it did—it just took a very long time. Teenage me was not that patient. It’s probably good that I had no idea that it was even a possibility. I would’ve spent my whole life waiting for him to come around.
Now that he has, I’m desperate to keep him.
CHASE
Nix likes me.
Nix likes me.
Nix likes me.
The thought plays over and over in my head. Not just that, but he’s had a crush on me for over a decade.
Fuck, that’s a long time. He’s got himself all figured out. He’s got a home and a business and isn’t googling his sexuality in his spare time.
“Here’s your food. Can I bring you two anything else?”
If the waiter thinks anything of Nix and me sitting on the same side of the booth, he doesn’t say anything. It’s nice, being this close to him. Is it cliché for us to be sitting this way? Maybe, but fuck if I don’t like it. I’ve never been like this with anyone before, willing to ignore all the usual ways of doing things in order to be a little closer.
As promised, the chicken is delicious. I give a nod to make sure Nix knows I’m happy with his suggestion. I expected a small town to have crappy food. Or maybe only a diner or a fast food restaurant. I haven’t tried much, wanting to save as much money as possible, but the coffee and pastries I’ve grabbed from Firehouse Brew have been absolutely incredible. Better than anything I’ve had in the city. There, I was always at aStarbucks. Consistent, but not much else I can say. Of course, as long as it was highly caffeinated, I didn’t care. That morning stop was always the second of many cups of coffee to get me through the day.
“So, you said something about dating?”
Ah, we’re back to the key conversation here. “Is that something you’d be interested in?” I let my legs fall open, my thigh brushing against Nix’s. He stiffens before relaxing into my touch.
“Are you sure you’re interested? In me?”
His voice is soft, barely above a whisper. I hate that anyone ever made him feel like he isn’t some sort of prize. I’m the one who should be second-guessing here. I mean, he’s taking a big chance on me. My life is a giant mess at the moment. And thatwas before I added sexual awakening to the list. He’s going to have his work cut out for him.
Then there’s the not-so-small issue that my time in Sleighbell Springs is meant to be temporary. A short-term layover on my way to whatever’s next.
Nix, on the other hand, has a whole life here. He has friends, a store that’s doing well, and a home that he adores, at least when it’s not falling apart.
How am I supposed to compete with all that?
“Yeah, I am. I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I’d like to try. With you.”
“Oh.” That’s all he says, as though it might provide enough information.
“Is that a yes?”
“Yeah, it’s a yes.” It’s cute the way he ducks his head a bit, pretending to be focused on his meal. I know better. It’s weird, but apparently, during my obsessive phase, I picked up a lot of information about him. The way he tries to hide whenever someone gives him a compliment. Like he might be able to get away from it.
I’m going to spoil him until he no longer shies away from praise.
“Good.”
“Good.”
The rest of the meal passes in near silence. A few of the local folks find their way over to the table to say hello. Thankfully, none of them stay very long.
It’s late by the time we make our way back to the bookstore. Late enough that we should go to bed.
