Do I ask for help, or pretend I don’t need it?
Knowing that means I know what he’s really saying. It’s not that he doesn’t want support; He doesn’t know how to ask for it.
I wiggle into the left corner of the sofa, tighten my grip on the empty popcorn bowl, and smile. “We don’t have to talk about it. But if you want to get your mind off things, I’m having a movie marathon tonight. You’re welcome to join.”
Saturdays in undergrad were the party days, before struggling through Sunday assignments while hungover. I’ve grown out of the hangover part, but staying up later than I should remains the same. It’s in the form of questionable romcoms tonight.
I pick up the remote and wave it around. “We can watch something else. I’ve seen this movie at least ten times.”
Locke looks at Ghost for a few moments before slowly walking towards the couch. His silence makes me think he’s going to reject the offer, but only for a moment, before he glances at the screen.
“This movie is fine.” He sets Ghost down in the middle seat, and I smile. That’s a yes. “Can I change first?”
“Of course. Take your time.”
He disappears into his room. I refill the popcorn bucket, rewind to the beginning, and pat Ghost’s head when he curls into a ball. No more than ten minutes pass before Locke emerges from the hallway in blue pajama pants and a graphic t-shirt.
I smile behind a bite of popcorn. I’ve been seeing less button-downs and jeans in the apartment, and more washed-out tees. I hope his change in comfort extends beyond his clothes.
“Is that a character from the anime you were telling me about?”
Said character is wearing a long brown cloak and holding a spear, and my roommate glances down at it. “Oh, no. He’s from my favorite video game.”
“The one you mentioned? Something…Impact?”
“Yeah.” He lets the topic die, so I do too. Instead, Locke settles onto the opposite side of the couch and folds his handstogether. I set the popcorn bowl between us so he knows we’re sharing.
“You sure you don’t want to choose what we watch? You could put on an anime. I’m always up for something new.”
He glances over at me, eyebrows raised. I mimic the expression, but he shakes his head and clears his throat. “No. That’s okay. I’m not sure I’d be able to focus.”
Whatever happened today, it must be weighing on his mind. I hum.
“I get it. Another time, then?”
His shoulders fall slowly, body melting into the couch. Nodding slowly, he lifts his hand to the bowl and takes a piece of popcorn.
“Next time.”
When the opening sequence of a high school classroom with cringey dialogue starts up, small waves of embarrassment roll through me. I watch every genre of media. Action, drama, horror, suspense. Romance, though, will always be my favorite.
It’s the little girl in me who grew up believing in true love’s kiss and prince charming that keeps me going back. I’m a lover girl, even if my track record should steer me otherwise.
The boys I’ve dated are also the reason I don’t share these movies with other people anymore. Too many instances of guys teasing dramatic love confessions and heartfelt coming-of-age stories have soured the experience.
I silently hoped Locke took me up on the offer to choose something else. Facing another onslaught of insults would deter me from staying up until three am watching movies tonight.
Like when he walked into the dorm, though, I’m reminded not to assume things about Locke so quickly.
Twenty minutes into the movie and he hasn’t insulted me, or it, at all. He’s matching my pace at scarfing down popcorn and hasn’t pulled his eyes away from the screen even once.
“Please tell me,” he says right after swallowing another mouthful. “Her best friend isn’t in love with her.”
“Jesse? No, not at all.” I glance sideways at him. His green eyes are laser-focused on the screen and I chuckle. “Have you really never seen this?”
“No. I haven’t seen much romance. Just whatever my little sister forced me to watch.”
I turn my head fully towards Locke. I knew he had a sister, but my information from Liliana is limited. This is the first time he’s ever mentioned her.
