Her eyes drag up to mine. “We’ll close out the case and the contract. Tracker will be in touch about that.”
I cross my arms, doing my best to keep my building frustration under control. “That’s not what I mean. I don’t give a shit about the contract, the bill, or anything else. I mean you and me. What’s happening right now?”
Her chin lifts as her strong shoulders roll back. “Now that Mindy is no longer a threat, I can go home, and you’re free to get back to your life.”
I rub my forehead, trying really hard not to let the stabbing pain of her dismissiveness send me into a rage. Ryder isn’t like all the others. I know that, but this feels a little too familiar.
I step closer, leaving two feet between us. “That’s all this was. Just a job, and you’re done now.” I stare at her, pushing back. “I don’t believe that.”
Her weight shifts from one boot to the other, and her gaze drops to the phone clenched in her hand. “I’m sorry. I made. . .a mistake.”
I scoff, and her eyes jump to mine. “Don’t do that. Don’t discount it. It wasn’t a mistake, and I want you to tell me why you’re hell-bent on getting out of here, away from me, as fast as you can.”
There’s a stretch of silence filled with nothing but my anxious frustration.
She shakes her head gently. “I can’t. . . Your life—”
“Stop. Don’t reduce me to my name or my profession like everyone else.” I step closer, wanting to touch her and have her trust me with whatever has her running. I squeeze my fist, resisting the urge. “Ryder, it’s just me. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Please don’t do this.” Her voice is soft but hoarse.
I take another step forward, leaving only inches between us.
Her eyes press closed before she opens them again. “My job is to protect you.That’swhat I’m doing.”
I take a risk, needing her to see and feel my next words. “I don’twantorneedto be protected any longer.”
Her head falls toward the floor.
My chest aches with the words singeing the edges of my caged heart. “I want you to stay.” There it is. The truth. I don’t want her to leave me.
“I can’t.” It’s barely a whisper.
“Yes, you can. Stay with me. We’ll figure this out. You don’t have to be afraid. I promise you.”
“Don’t say that,” her soft voice quivers.
I lift her face up to mine, and she blinks quickly. “Stay with me. You’ve trusted me before. Believe in me.”
“I can’t. . .be what you want me to be.”
My heart rate spikes with desperation. “All I want is you. Just like this.”
“You don’t understand what you’re saying.” She slips away as her irritation ignites. “I’m not made for this. I belong out there. It’s all I know. All I’ll ever. . .” She shakes her head, her gaze dropping to the floor again.
After a moment, her face tips back up, and that stoic mask slips into place. “There’s so much darkness that lives inside me. It’s eaten away everything good. It never stops taking. I won’t let it take from anyone else.” She bites her bottom lip, and the indentation remains. “I won’t let it take from you.”
Pain and fear stare back at me, so real and raw it spears me straight through.
“You don’t know the places I’ve been and the things I’ve done. I’m not who you think I am.” Her voice is set and determined. “My life is out there, and yours. . .is here.” She gestures to my space, spotless and quiet.
I want to tear the entire place apart and show her just how much of a mess I am. Structure and order are what keep my fragile insides securely intact. It’s a fucking facade.
Her eyes dance between mine, and I watch her pull in a long, slow breath as if she’s shoring herself up for battle. “I’m sorry ifI’ve done anything to hurt you, but if I stay, that’s all I would be doing.”
I stare at her, taking in every detail.
Fuck it.
