“Ah, you forget that most men put on a grand show of bravado to mask that they are all deeply terrified of rejection, particularly from the woman who holds their affections.” Zafir’s gaze lingered on my mouth once more, and his head inclined a fraction of an inch.
The chain between us clinked gently as Zafir tightened his hold on me. I adjusted my hand so I could trace my fingertip around the outer rim of his ear. He closed his eyes and drew in a shuddering breath.
I wanted him to kiss me. Forget Julian; I wanted Zafir. His lesson had been too good to ignore. What would he do if I closed the distance between us? Would he push me away?
“I can’t practice seducing you any further than this orwe’ll actually end up kissing,” I said in a voice so low that it was barely audible.
“Do you need a lesson for that as well?”
Time ground to a halt. Was he offering what I hoped he was? “I think that might be helpful, as long as this isn’t compelled by another infatuation elixir. I don’t want you to feel forced.”
“No elixir; it’s just a lesson.” His nose grazed along my jaw and up my cheek. “The first kiss is supposed to be the most memorable,” he murmured, so close that I felt the air bending around my lips. “So, you’ll need to make an impression.”
He touched his lips against mine so softly that it felt like a butterfly landing and fleeing again a heartbeat later. Was that it? Was that all I would get?
I couldn’t bear resisting like he could; I didn’t have his level of self-control. I closed the gap between us, crushing my lips against his with a vengeance. Without hesitation, he cupped my face in both his hands and dove into the kiss so aggressively that my toes curled and my fingers clutched at the back of his tunic. There was a desperation to how he kissed me, like I was the last vessel of water in a vast desert and he was determined to quench his thirst.
We shouldn’t.
Zafir and I were all wrong for each other. And yet…my body betrayed me. An intense, aching hollow opened inside my chest and I couldn’t resist leaning into the burning sensation. I needed him just as much as I needed to breathe. There was no other kiss in the world that could compare to kissing Zafir. All my self-control vanished on the spot and I lost myself to our kiss’s ebbing and flowing. No elixir would ever be able to replicate this transcendent experience.
Zafir dropped slightly to press his lips on the line where my jaw met my neck while I caught my breath.
“Did I pass the lesson?” I rasped.
Zafir pulled back slightly and couldn’t take his eyes off my lips. “You can’t pass any class with a single test, you know. You have to prove you’ve learned things over a longer span of time.”
“So, this wasn’t the final exam?” I tilted my head forward again. “Do I need to demonstrate what I’ve learned again?”
He leaned back in. “Yes, I need another demonstration.” Our lips met again. Unwise as it was, I couldn’t stop kissing him. It was impossible to lock down what he tasted like. It was like smoke mixed with starlight or shadow laced with fire. It was danger and safety all at once, and it was intoxicating. I felt that I would never get enough and that I’d be willing to sell my soul to extend this sensation forever. It was a grand mistake I’d want to make over and over again. His grip on me tightened and he returned my mouth’s pressure with his own.
I pulled so hard against Zafir’s neck that he stepped forward, driving me back until we collided with the shelving. The impact caused one of his bottles to teeter then fall from its perch and smash against the stone floor. Bright green liquid splattered us and the stone wall, jarring us back to our senses.
We broke apart. Zafir let out a muttered oath under his breath and began frantically scrubbing the liquid off both of us.
“You have to get it off fast; that’s acidic sea serpent mucus,” he explained, snatching up the hand towel from beside the wash basin to hurry things along. “It will burn down to the bone if it’s left on too long.”
I yelped and copied Zafir, wiping down any that was onmy skin. It took several minutes to make sure every bit of mucus was contained.
“Is that all?” I asked, looking around for any splatters that could burn an unsuspecting person who put their hand on the wrong shelf or stepped into a puddle.
“Yes. And any left will dry up within the hour. It only affects living animals; it has no effect on stone or glass. Do you feel any burning?”
“No.” The persistent heat from our time kissing had faded too, leaving such a cold embarrassment in its place that I couldn’t even look at Zafir. I’d been stupid to let my feelings run away with me during a lesson about learning to seduce another man. “Sorry about your mucus.”
He cleared his throat. “It’s only two hundred dinars an ounce.”
I nearly choked. “So expensive!”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t use it very often.” He hastily turned to scrub his already-spotless desk. Awkwardness hovered over us, making each second feel like an hour.
I couldn’t find the courage to meet his eyes. It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d tried anyway; he had begun busily rearranging the rest of the bottles on his shelf and adjusting them by the tiniest amount so all their labels faced directly forward. His gaze was locked onto his task, without even the slightest glance in my direction.
Shame crept in. This wasn’t supposed to happen. After couples kissed, they were supposed to feel closer and more intimate. I shouldn’t have brought up kissing as part of the lesson. I should have pushed him away or else stopped it before it turned into something that felt much too real. But I hadn’t. When Zafir had given me that breath of a first kiss, I’d stupidly leaned in and completely lost control. It was fortunate, really, that the bottle had smashed when it did. Iwouldn’t have had the strength to pull away otherwise. And now the silence settled on my chest like tangible weight.
The minutes dragged on.
Did I expect that he’d say something? There was nothing he could say that would help me forget the press of his mouth against mine or the silky feel of his hair beneath my fingers. Were we supposed to laugh it off like it was part of the lesson or act like it never happened?
