“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” he asked.
“Like something very serious is going on in your brain?”
Rafael sighed. “Because you look uncomfortable. I can tell.”
Grace bristled. “What do you mean?”
Rafael sat back in his chair and stared at her. “You’re all stiff and you keep glancing around like you’re looking for an escape route if something goes wrong.”
Slowly, she shook her head. “I’m fine. I’m happy to be here.”
“I’m happy to be here,” Rafael countered, like a challenge.
“Well, then let’s enjoy ourselves,” she commanded, but there was a light of mischief in her eyes. That was more like it. More likeGrace.
He took another sip of his wine. “Tell me about something. What’s on the syllabus for your new class next term?”
She did tell him. About every female artist she was planning to put in her lesson plans. She told him about her latest faculty meeting and the assurances that her contract would be renewed for the following year. That was a relief, honestly. She told him how Alma had burned a fish on the stove the other day, and the whole place started smoking so much she was afraid they were in for another disaster, and she would have to move out of their apartment all over again.
“You turned up the temperature, didn’t you?” Rafael asked. “You’re just looking for an excuse to come back to my place.”
He watched the blush creeping over her face. It was almost normal then, but not quite. Rafael could tell that something was still bothering her, but he didn’t know what it was. He didn’t want to push her, but he was also a little desperate. She had a lot of power here—power to send him right back to his state of wallowing—so he wanted to know what was messing with her brain. If there was a way to fix it, whatever it was, then he needed to figure out how.
“Will you come home with me?” he whispered in her ear after the meal, as they started to walk out of the restaurant.
“On a first date?” she teased.
“Yes.” He kissed the top of her head and waited for a response. The seconds that passed felt like millions of years.
“Yes,” she said.
CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE
Don’t say it.Don’t say it. Don’t say it.
Rafael looked over at Grace again like he was trying to read her mind, and thank goodness he couldn’t or he would just hear her brain screaming that she was in love with him, and that was the information she was trying to keep to herself at all costs. This was his first fucking relationship, and she wasn’t going to ruin it by telling him she loved him on day one and freaking him out so much that he immediately started to push her away. She had to keep herself in check so this whole thing didn’t fall apart before it had even started.
So she sat on her stool in his kitchen keeping her lips firmly pressed together except for the brief moments when she allowed herself to sip from a glass of water.
Rafael refilled her glass, but instead of sliding it back across the counter toward her, he walked around and stood beside her as if waiting for something. She turned toward him slightly and reached out her hand, but he put the glass firmly on the counter before spinning her stool and slowly easing her legs apart with his thigh. The black fabric of her dress slid up bunched against her belly, leaving her almost bare underneath except for the silk of her underwear.
Then, Rafael positioned his entire body right in front of her and slid his thumb against her neck. She eased her head back until her eyes met his and she swallowed.
“You haven’t even kissed me yet,” he said.
She didn’t reply but held her position, waiting as his head tilted down toward hers, his lips inching closer and closer with every breath. “Is that something you might be interested in?” he asked.
She smiled and strained toward him, straightening as much as possible until finally, his mouth was against hers. It felt very possible that she might just topple off the stool altogether, but maybe he could sense that, because his arm wrapped around her back, pulling her even closer toward him and holding her firmly in place. She felt him smile against her lips, and her heart seemed to bounce in her chest like her lungs were a trampoline. She loved that smile. She loved that it was meant for her. She loved him.Shit.
Rafael raised his head so they were making eye contact again. Her body had tensed without meaning to, and of course, he’d noticed. He seemed to be so aware of her, which wasn’t exactly helpful when she was trying to go on with their date and pretend like she wasn’t totally obsessed with him in a way that might send him running for the hills.
“What’s wrong, Graciela? Just tell me.”
“It’s—” What could she possibly say? She decided to try as much truth as possible without giving him everything. “You make me nervous. I know this is new for you, and I want it to go perfectly, but that feels like a lot of pressure.”
He eased back from her, giving her more space. “You feel pressured by me?”
