She grabbed his hand, keeping him from going too far away. “No. Of course not. I feel pressured byme.I don’t want to mess this up.”
He scoffed. “That’s not possible.”
Grace bit her lip. She wanted him to understand, to know everything she was thinking. It all just felt too precarious, like they were standing on the edge of a cliff and one gust of wind in the wrong direction could topple this whole thing. “Maybe you don’t think so now…”
“Grace. I know you said you wanted to take things slow, and I can respect that, but don’t forget that I know you. I know the little sounds you make when you’re about to come. I know you can ramble on about Picasso for hours and somehow make it the most interesting thing I’ve ever heard. I know you stand up for people when it matters, and you’re the most loyal friend I’ve ever seen. You keep saying this is our first date, and maybe it is, but I’m already yours.”
Oh, wowza.Something was happening in her stomach. Not butterflies, exactly. More like a plague of locusts beating their wild wings. “Well, that’s—” she faltered. “That does make me feel better. I’m just trying to navigate how we do this whole thing when we have lived together, and your Alma’s brother, and I already…”
She clamped her stupid mouth shut. She should just go back to kissing him to keep from spilling her secret, but before she could even pull his face toward her again, he was already leaning in to kiss her—a fierce, hungry kiss that made her clench her thighs around him.
“It might take some getting used to,” he said, breaking away and pressing his forehead to hers. “Maybe we don’t have it all figured out yet, but the thing is, Grace…”
He paused for so long that she pulled away to get another good look at him. Now she was the one trying to figure out what the hell he was thinking. He brought his hands to the sides of her face and cradled her cheeks in his hands, and she relished every moment of it.
“You’ve been through a lot recently,” he continued. “And like I said, I don’t want to put any more pressure on you or make you think you need to feel a certain way. This is all new to me.”
“I know,” she said. “That’s why I thought it would be good to take things slow.”
His brow furrowed. “You mean that was for my sake?”
She chewed her lip. “It was for both of us. It just seemed like the practical way to go about this, and I know you haven’t really had this kind of relationship before.”
Rafael hung his head. “You’re killing me, Graciela.”
“What?” Her eyes scanned his face, searching for clues as to what she’d done wrong.
“Sure, this is my first serious thing, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know when I’m in love. I’m not a totalgillipollas, despite what my sister might have you believe.”
Grace cocked her head to the side, considering him closely again. She could feel her heartbeat. She could hear it ringing in her ears. “When you’re in love?”
“I didn’t mean to say that,” he grumbled in a low voice.
Grace tried to keep her voice steady, but she felt like she could scream. “So you didn’t mean it?”
He frowned at her like he was disappointed. “Of course I meant it. I just didn’t mean to say it yet. I guess it’s too late now, though, so I might as well tell you properly. Should I?”
Grace sucked in a breath and nodded. Fireworks seemed to be going off inside of her, in her head, in her belly, sparking through her blood like it was the Fourth of July in her veins.
Rafael tilted her chin up to him. “I love you, Grace. I’ll do whatever you want to do in this relationship. If you want to just go on dates, if you want to stop sleeping together, if you want to move in tomorrow. I don’t care what it looks like or if you want to go slow or fast or whatever you need. None of it will change the fact that I’m in love with you. None of it will change that I want to spend every moment with you, making you laugh. No matter how you want this to look, I’ll do anything. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else, I guess I can’t help wanting you to know that, even if it’s too soon to say it.”
Grace opened her mouth and then closed it again. An overwhelming wave of warmth seemed to flood her entire body.
“Sorry.” Rafael ran a hand through his hair, his fingers twitching.
Grace shook her head as a disbelieving smile spread across her face. There was no holding it back now. She tried not to shout at him. “Rafael, I love you,” she said, her voice scratchy, the words almost catching in her throat.
“You do?” He already looked so smug about it, and it might have been the hottest look she’d ever seen.
Grace almost laughed, the relief of saying the words aloud coursing through her. “Yes, that’s why I’ve been acting like a weirdo, because I’ve been trying so hard to keep my mouth shut.”
Raf’s eyes went wide. “Why would you want to do that?”
“Because it’s so soon. And I didn’t want to freak you out. I thought maybe if we could just date for a while, then in a month or so it wouldn’t be totally crazy that I’m completely in love with you.”
The grin that flashed across his face almost made her heart stop. “Well, that makes everything a hell of a lot easier,” he teased. “I’m glad it’s out in the open. Then he lowered his voice and his tone became more serious. “I’m really, truly glad, actually,”
He pulled her against him again, and Grace let the revelation of it all sink into her skin. He loved her. It seemed almost unfathomable, but also, it felt incredibly natural and right.
