“I don’t trust Fear to tell me the truth,” I told Maura. “So I need you to tell me what the true price is for breaking the bond.”
It had been an abrupt introduction to the conversation, but Maura took it in stride. “Is that what Fear offered you?”
“Yes. He told me it would cost him Shadowbane. Since Shadowbane and Lightbringer are bonded, severing his bond with Shadowbane would free me from the mate bond I have with Fear. Is that true?”
“Yes.” She hesitated. “Fear would never shift again. He would no longer lead Bismyth. He would not be considered fit to rule without magic.”
Sudden anger welled up in me. “So he’s offering me a load of cow shit. He would never give that up. Give up Shadowbane? Give up Bismyth? Give up the throne?”
“It is hard to imagine he would make that sacrifice for anyone,” Maura said, but she looked troubled. “And Shadowbane…dragons sometimes return to the Dreaming, of course, if they are wounded beyond?—”
“Are you telling me Shadowbane woulddie?”Horror washed through me. “To sever the bond?”
“In our world,” she corrected, but she did not sound as if that meant much to her. “He would return to the Dreaming.”
Was it true? I raked my fingers through my hair, feeling restless and furious and unable to completely decipher the source of my emotions.
“He told me he wouldn’t lie to me anymore, and then he offered me that in front of Anayla and Asrael.”
“He did?” Maura tugged absently on the end of a braid. “What if he meant it?”
“Then he’s insane. I wouldn’t let him make that kind of sacrifice for me.”
The ghost of Fear carrying me after I had tried to stab him rose up in my mind, rather accusingly. I had tried to sacrifice his life. Losing Shadowbane was less severe. And yet…I couldn’t imagine watching him lose Shadowbane.
“Does he think I’m a monster?” I fumed.
She hesitated, then stepped back, leaving the door open. It was as much of an invitation as I would get. When she retreated into her room, I followed.
“Is it that terrible being his wife?” She threw herself onto her bed with her usual careless grace and indicated the chair.
She cared for him; I was sure of that. There had been deep jealousy as well as protectiveness when she lashed out at me.
I paced. I could not sit.
“It is terrible that I did not choose him, and I am bound to him forever. I would not want to be bound forever to anyone, even if I chose them. Love doesn’t always last.” I had not realized how enraged I felt until I heard my voice.
Maura stroked a finger lovingly over the cover of the book beside her, as if I had interrupted something more important, but she said, “That is deeply jaded. I am almost impressed.”
“I watched what it did to my mother when my father died. She loved him, and he left her behind, and she was broken. And before that, my first father, Corbyn, loved her and still destroyed her. Love isn’t meant to last.” My words came out hot, and I almost spat, “I don’t want a fated mate!”
It was only when I’d finished that I understood she had goaded me into revealing what I hadn’t even known.
Maura was watching me with a look of barely contained judgment. “That doesn’t sound so bad to me, having someone who will love you all your life, someone you can trust and count on, so you never have to be alone.”
There was that wordaloneagain—the one that had defined Fear’s life. “None of us are alone when we have our clans.”
“It is not the same thing. Believe me.”
I paused, remembering seeing Maura reunited with the clan earlier. “Everyone is glad to have you back.”
Her lips arched into a smirk. “I’m sure not everyone.”
“Well, Dairen is glad.” And he was the nicest of all Bismyth.
“And Fear?” She flipped idly through her book’s pages, as if she didn’t care. “How has Fear taken your decision to rule Bismyth?”
“We’ll find out.”
