I’m fucking desperate to get my nose next to her skin. All of her skin. I want to know how she smells behind her knees, the crease of her thigh. I want to know how the taste of her pussy changes after a workout. I really regret ever agreeing to this stupid plan to wait. Who fucking cares if I’m her boss? There’s no reason to wait anymore.
Becca draws away, her lips millimeters from mine. I tighten my grip to make sure she can’t get away from me. “Jesus, Kade.” She’s panting, and I’m distracted watching her breasts heave in the low neckline of her top. I’m pretty sure I can get them out of there in a couple of seconds. The windows of the truck are tinted, so I doubt anyone would see. I slide my free hand from her ass up her side to her breast. Her fingers cover mine, and her laughter breaks my focus.
“Kade!”
I drag my eyes away from that spectacular rack to her face. “Huh?”
Her face is creased with laughter, and I sit back, loving the way her eyes crinkle up, making the freckles on her nose dance. She brings her hands up to cup my cheeks. “I said we can’t do this here.” I’m completely blank, and she takes pity on me. “We have an audience, Kade.”
I shift my eyes to the front of the building, and yep, there’s a group of women watching us, Holly among them. When they see me looking, they start clapping and yelling. I feel my ears getting hot, and I shake my head in embarrassment.
Becca just laughs, pulling away to lower her window. “Keep walking, ladies. Nothing to see here.” She waves and watches them leave in groups before turning back to me. “Alone at last,” she says with a wink.
Christ, this woman is going to be the death of me. “Becca, you’re fucking killing me,” I admit with a groan.
“Humm. You look pretty…primed for a man on the verge of death.” She laughs at my scowl.
“I need to be in you so bad. It’s all I’m fucking thinking about. I can’t even focus at work anymore. My hand is just not cutting it.”
Her mouth flattens, but I see the twitch at the corner. “Your hand, huh?” She smiles slowly. “Do you think about me when you’re holding your cock in your fist?”
I choke and have to clear my throat before I answer. “Yeah, I do.”
She’s going to torture me again. I can’t decide if I love it or hate it when she does this. But I can’t bring myself to stop her. Becca hums low in her throat and moves her hand up to her chest, tracing her finger along the edge of her V-neck top. I groan and shift in my seat, loving her teasing and hating it at the same time.
“Have some fucking mercy, please.”
Her smile turns evil. “What do you think about me doing, Kade? I really want to know.”
She’s fucking toying with me. But I’m too horny to play. ”I think about your lips wrapped around my cock. Of burying my face in your pussy and fucking you with my tongue until you come so hard you clamp down on me. Then I think about feeding every single inch of my cock into you until I’m in you so deep you won’t feel right unless you’re wrapped around me.”
I’m fucking aching, my words a growl. Becca’s eyes are hooded, her chest rising and falling with her racing breath. She’s so fucking beautiful. I can’t believe she’s mine. That she lets me touch her. That I get her smiles and soft touches.
“I sometimes wake up at night afraid you’re going to disappear,” I confess.
Her eyes widen. “What? Why?”
I shrug, needing to talk, to be honest with her, but reluctant to open up. “I…I told you I hadn’t had the best track record with relationships, right? Most of the women I’ve dated have been…” I hesitate.
“Broken,” she whispers. I nod slowly, embarrassed.
“Yeah. Broken. I wanted to help them.” I have to laugh at myself. “I always want to help. And they all wanted me to, you know? They dug their nails into me and wouldn’t let go. And I let them. Fuck, I craved it. And then one day, I’d wake up, and they’d be gone.”
I can see the confusion on her face, but I don’t want to explain it to her. She doesn’t understand a love that hurts. Doesn’t know what it’s like to go to sleep as a kid with a handprint on her face.
It was the first fucking touch I’d gotten in a month from my mom. I remember putting my hand over it and being glad for it. That sign that my mom actually saw me that day. That she registered my existence instead of treating me like a ghost taking up space in her house.
When you’re used to being ignored, anything that pierces that veil, that makes you feel seen, is welcome. But eventually, they all left. Sometimes on their own, sometimes forced out. Sometimes, I’d find them cold, stiff, eyes gazing sightlessly at the wall. Not moving, no matter how much I beg and cry for them to wake up.
“Why would they be gone?” Becca’s voice is like a soft breeze, gently pushing away the memories.
My smile turns bitter. “Sometimes because they got what they wanted…money usually. Or if they got better, they didn’t want to be with me anymore.”
“So they’re stupid.” Becca’s voice is dry.
A startled laugh slips out of me at her matter-of-fact delivery. How does she do that? Listen to my deepest pain, and somehow make it better? Make me want to laugh about it? I love the way she sees me. Maybe If I’m lucky, she’ll look at me that way for a while longer. I don’t want to think of that changing, even though I know it will.
“I’m serious, Kade. They sound like dumb bitches. Why on earth would anyone leave you?”
