I hook my phone up to the little speaker inside. The background music has been a nice touch. Setting it to myMountain Vibesplaylist, I remember to grab a towel this time and head out to the tub.
Damon joins me a few minutes later. His designer brand swim trunks are sitting low on his lean hips. Damon, Taylor, and their older brother Ashton all have no chest hair, and I take a second to appreciate the smoothness of his skin.
Between wanting to understand my best friend, learning the truth about my dad pursuing a relationship with a guy, and experiencing my first kiss with another man, all within the same time period, I think a little perusal is warranted.
Damon’s body is totally different from mine. There is no happy trail like on my stomach, and although he’s lean, the outlines of his abs are present, but he’s missing the defined ridges of muscle like I have. He has a freckle just above his left hipbone. Funny. I’ve seen that freckle a million times without everseeingit. If I squint, it’s almost in the shape of a heart.
“Keep looking at me like that, and we’re going to have a problem,” Damon says, getting situated in the tub.
I laugh, happy that he’s able to lighten up a little.
“I’m sorry, is my openly checking you out a little too gay for you?”
Damon throws his head back in laughter, and I bathe in the sound.
“Asshole,” he says, splashing water at me.
“Ah, another part I’m not terribly familiar with, but I have questions,” I start.
“No,” he says immediately.
“What do you mean,no? I haven’t even asked anything,” I whine.
“We are not discussing assholes, anal, or anything else gay-sex related.”
“Excuse you! Hetero couples can have anal sex, fuck you very much. You don’t get to claim it as your own.”
“Well, good, it sounds like you’re already an expert, so there’s no need for questions.”
“I’ve never done it, but I imagine figuring out how to be the assfuckercan’t be that hard. No, I have questions about what you do as the assfuckee.”
Damon is laughing even harder despite my being totally serious right now. Finally, he says. “Not talking about this.”
“Well, what’s the point in having a queer best friend if we can’t even talk about it?”
“Watch porn like the rest of us,” he deadpans.
Now,I’mlaughing my ass off. “Yeah, because I’m surethatpaints a realistic picture.” And then a thought occurs to me, and for some reason, I’m feeling a little shy about asking it, but it comes out anyway because fuck the secrets. “Have you ever actually, you know, like, been with a guy?”
Damon takes several long seconds to answer.
“I’ve done enough to know I like it,” he says cryptically.
“What does that even mean, bro?”
He rolls his eyes, but there’s no real annoyance behind it. He’s embarrassed.
“I had a few hookups in undergrad, but no actual fucking.”
My eyes grow wide. “Ohmygod! You’re a virgin? That is thecutestthing I’ve ever heard.”
Damon splashes me again. “You’re such a dick, you know that?”
“Yeah, but you love me.” His smile falters for the briefest of seconds. I probably would have missed it if I hadn’t been trying to read every expression that crossed his face over the last several days.
“Unfortunately,” he says, aiming for playful but missing the mark.
I choose to ignore it and get back on track.
