“Li, let me explain,” I plead.
The anger in his eyes is unmistakable.
“Liam, please,” I whisper brokenly.
“You are theoneperson I trust more than anyone, Damon. When I felt like the whole world was against me, I always knewyou were on my side. But it seems you’ve changed sides, and you didn’t even have the decency to tell me.”
He turns around, heading back into the cabin, and I race after him. All my feelings about personal boundaries have gone out the window. I don’t initiate physical contact with Li. Not because I don’t want him in my personal space, but because Ido.
I do, so fucking much.
I’m afraid if he lets me hold him, I’ll never let him go, and then he’ll know the rest of my secrets. But right now, I have to try.
“Li, wait. Please. Let me explain,” I plead again, sounding like a broken record.
The water from the hot tub has frozen in my hair, and my chest and arms burn as I step into the warmth of the cabin. The temperature difference causes the numbness of my skin to fade, and feeling returns like tiny needles with white-hot tips.
Liam turns down the hall toward our bedrooms, and I do the only thing I can think of to stop him.
I fling myself at his back, wrapping my arms around his torso, and hold on for dear life.
“Liam,please. Let’s talk. I’ll explain everything. You aren’t going to like what I have to say, and…I’m scared.”
It’s this admission that finally gets him to stop walking. He turns to face me while still in my arms. Our naked chests are pressed together, but I can’t even enjoy the sensation of finally having him against me like this. It seems every time I get to hold Liam, it’s due to some tragedy or devastation.
What would it be like to hold him out of joy and desire with none of the bad stuff between us? I wonder.
He takes a shuddering breath, tipping his chin up and looking over my head.
Without thinking, I keep one arm wrapped around his back and place my other hand on the back of his neck to bring his forehead down to mine.
“Please,” I plead again, waiting with bated breath for his response.
My heart shatters when he says, “Not tonight. I need some space,” and rips himself from my grip.
The sound of his bedroom door shutting has my stomach threatening to empty.
My legs give out, and I slide down the wall, not knowing what else to do except sit outside his bedroom until he’s ready to talk to me.
I hear him moving around, and it isn’t long before the door opens again. My hopeful heart is pierced a second later when I see that he’s dressed.
He’s going out.
Liam doesn’t see me as he exits his room and trips over me. He curses, throwing a hand against the wall so he doesn’t crush me.
“Jesusfuck, Damon. What are you doing? Get off the floor.”
“Can we talk?”
“I said, not tonight. I’ll be back later.”
I want to beg him not to go, to plead for him to stay here with me. I want to pull him onto my lap and squeeze him until my arms ache, our size difference be damned.
I’ve fucked this all up.
“Don’t be worried if you don’t hear me come back in,” he says, gutting me further.
He’s going to look for a distraction. A woman to warm his bed and serve as a distraction.
