Liam falls silent, and I let my head fall back against the side of the hot tub. The deck isn’t covered, so when I look up, I can see the stars. I’m desperately trying to soak in this moment with the love of my life beside me, safe and healthy, but it hurts. Turning my head, I see he’s mirrored my position.
The way he held on to me in that bar had me drunk on love, lust, and the feel of him. I wanted so badly to go weightless, to just fall back against his strong chest and let him hold me up. But as always, I will choose to protect him over everything else…even if that means protecting him from myself.
Pulling out of his grip to go to the bathroom tore my heart in half, and I probably imagined it, but I swear his fingers tightened ever so slightly when I started to move away from him.
Suddenly, Liam sits up. “You know what this night needs?” he asks.
“H-Burns,” I tell him without hesitation, reciting the name of the artist who sang the song that became the soundtrack to more than one of Liam and I’s adventures.
Dark and vibe-y, our favorite song works for any setting, and Liam’s right; this sky is begging for the sound ofNight Moves.
He climbs out of the tub, grabbing my robe—because of course he forgot a towel—and runs across the frozen deck, his bare ass greeting me before he whips the robe around his body.
I hear the song change through the speakers, and I blink rapidly, pushing down my tears at the way the lyrics really hit for this situation. It’s impossible to feel like this isn’t the last memory he and I will make to this song because even if we can survive the truth about his dad, how doIsurvive my feelings for him?
Before I can give in to the despair, I hear the sliding door open and wipe my cheeks.
“Damon?”
My blood freezes in my veins despite the heat of the tub. Liam never uses my full name. And he definitely doesn’t say it likethat.
He knows,I immediately think to myself.
“Yeah?” I whisper into the night air, closing my eyes as my soul prepares to leave my body.
“You missed a text from your brother.”
I could play it off and pretend like I think it’s Ashton who texted me, but Tay deserves better from me, and Li deserves the truth.
As I’m trying to remember how to breathe, I open my eyes and see Liam move to the edge of the hot tub, waiting for me to speak.
“Um, what did it say?” I ask.
“Taylor hopes we’re having a great time,” Liam starts with his jaw clenched. “He also wants you to know, and I quote, ‘If it doesn’t feel right, there’s no pressure to tell him.’He’s glad you two are ‘good,’ and he loves you.”
I close my eyes, searching for the right words, knowing there aren’t any. I should’ve told Liam the truth as soon as I learned it.
He’s the first to break the silence.
“You didn’t tell me you and Taylor made up. When did that happen?” he asks, accusatorily…and in an eerily quiet voice.
Looking my best friend in the eye, I tell him what I should have told him weeks ago. “Yeah, um, we’ve tried to repair some of the damage.”
Based on the way his mouth moves, I can tell Liam is literally biting his tongue before he throws words into the air, unable to pull them back once they’re out.
“Is this what you’ve been keeping from me?” he asks.
“Yes,” I say slowly.
“But?” he prompts, sensing there’s more based on my reaction.
“But that’s not all of it,” I admit, my heart rate spiking in my chest.
Liam’s face scrunches in pain, and I don’t care that it’s below freezing, or that he’s in my robe and I have no towel, I’m out of the tub in a flash, trying to pull him into me, but he plants a hand on my chest and pushes me backward.
For the first time in our lives, Liam pushes me away from him.
I know I deserve it, butfuck,it hurts.
