I laughed, not for a second feeling like he was being inappropriate.
When we got to the venue, they snuck us in a side door and led us to a dumpy little dressing room behind the stage.
Zane breezed in right behind us, rattling off some kind of feedback about lights to a tech.
“Hi,” he said, giving me a quick but thorough kiss.
He pulled back and put a hand on Kelly’s shoulder.
Kelly pulled him in for a hug and said, “What, no kiss for me?”
Zane shook his head, but the laughing smile they exchanged spoke volumes about their friendship. Maybe Kelly wasn’t a total dick after all.
“I gotta go,” Zane said, nodding to a cluster of people in headsets waiting for him.
“You need help with anything?” Kelly asked.
“Nah, all good. I’ll see you after.”
He gave me another quick kiss and strode into the darkness backstage, a surge of energy following in his wake.
“You coming?” Kelly nodded his head out towards the auditorium.
“I can hear it fine from here,” I said, deflecting. I wasn’t sure I was ready.
“Chickenshit,” Kelly said with a wry smile.
“Excuse me?” I asked, indignant, but fighting a smile at how blunt he always was.
He leaned against the doorframe. “Let him see that song doesn’t bother you so he can stop beating himself up over it.”
“How do you know it doesn’t bother me?” I said.
“You wouldn’t be here if it still did.”
I hesitated, knowing what happened the first time I’d seen Zane onstage. The boundary between us was in shambles, but we still had a fixed end date. My feelings getting messier would only derail it all again and neither of us were in a place in our lives to deal with the fallout we endured the last time.
“Come on.” Kelly grabbed my hand and I let him tug me out of the dressing room and up a flight of stairs. He had seats for us on a balcony in a section where they weren’t allowing regular attendees. It had an unobstructed view of center stage, absolutely nothing between me and a tsunami of memories.
There was an awkward silence as Kelly and I sat there waiting for the show to start. I hadn’t quite figured him out yet. He came across as so mellow and easy-going that in spite of our conversation in the car, the very last thing I expected him to fill the pause with was, “Now that we know each other a little better, are we gonna talk about that time you ripped my best friend’s heart out and destroyed his self-esteem?”
Yowza. I guess we’re going there.
I clenched my hands together to stop them from shaking. “Not sure that’s the most accurate assessment of what happened…”
“No?” He turned to look at me. His expression was surprisingly relaxed and open given that he’d just gone for my jugular. “What would be more accurate?”
I exhaled until my lungs were empty. I could tell him it was none of his business, but it was clear it kind of was his business. He and Zane seemed closer than brothers and he obviously knew Zane’s side of the story. I was pretty sure he was worried about protecting Zane and I couldn’t fault that.
“What did he tell you?” I asked carefully.
“That he’d been in love with you and you didn’t know how to tell him you didn’t feel the same way…so you fucked his drummer. Oh, and you called him pathetic when he proposed afterward and never spoke to him again. Did I miss anything?”
That I loved him back?
“It was a little more complicated than that. Zane was only twenty-one—”
“And people’s feelings don’t count when they’re young?”
