Realizing that if I lied, it meant more than I wanted it to, I decided to be honest.
Me:Yes
I held my breath as I waited for him to respond.
Ethan:Huh.
What did that mean? I closed my eyes as I rubbed my temples. This wasn’t good. Oh, this wasn’t good.
Me:Was it that obvious?
Ethan:What? No. Just…nothing. Forget I asked.
Oh no, now it was on. He couldn’t just ask me something like that and then end the conversation. If he was my friend and we were going to try to make this work as friends, he needed to be honest with me.
Me:This is not fair. You can’t just leave me hanging like that.
The dancing dots mocked me as they appeared and then disappeared more times than I could count. It left me to imagine what he could possibly be struggling to say. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.
Me:Ethan, you’re scaring me
Thankfully, his next response came faster than his previous ones.
Ethan:Oh, sorry. It wasn’t bad.
Now I was completely confused. Was he saying my kiss wasn’t bad? What did that mean?
Me:You know how to give a girl a complex.
Ethan:I don’t want to do that, so let me start over. Your kiss was good. I was just surprised when you said it was your first.
My cheeks warmed as I read his last sentence. I blinked a few times as I tried to process what he said. Sure, our kiss had been a mistake, but it wasn’tbecause I was a bad kisser.
And even though I didn’t want to admit it, the fact that he’d enjoyed our kiss made my entire body tingle and I couldn’t fight the smile that played on my lips. A sense of satisfaction flooded my body as I rolled to my back and stared up at my screen.
If I was going to have my first kiss with anyone, I was glad that it was Ethan. He was my friend and he knew me more than anyone else—well, besides Olivia. The fact that he wanted to kiss me and then complimented me on it meant a lot.
Me:Thanks
Ethan:And me? Do you want to say something to me?
I chewed my bottom lip as I thought back to our kiss. It was hot. Mind blowing. I was pretty sure he’d changed me more than I cared to admit. I doubt there was another guy on this planet that could make me feel what Ethan had.
But I couldn’t say any of that. Not when we were supposed to be just friends.
So I settled with something less exposing.
Me:Eh
Ethan:???
I sent a shrugging emoji.
Ethan:Talk about giving someone a complex. This wasn’t my first time. You have me doubting my ability. Doubting if the Earth is round.
I giggled as I read it. Well, I didn’t want to do that. Before I could respond, his next text came in.
Ethan:Don’t answer that. I’m not sure I want to know one way or the other. Just know, I get a lot better.
