His arm snakes around my waist and slides up my shirt. “I remember someone begging me to take their pain away.”
The palm of his hand lifts my breast gently, his thumb stroking my hardening nipple. My breath hitches as he rubs against the teeth marks around it.
Cash’s lips brush against my ear as he speaks. “I remember that same person taking some of mine. Would taking the rest of it make you feel closer to me?”
He squeezes my breast and bites the sensitive spot below my ear. I grab the back of his neck and cry out, my knees buckling.
“I never wanted you to see this side of me,” Cash confesses, his tongue gliding over my neck above the belt mark. “I honestly thought you could erase it completely without you ever knowing it was there.”
He tugs on my hair, pulling my head to the side, and sinks his teeth in again. The pain is nothing like it was with Phil. His was done out of hatred, biting as deep as he could to elicit fear and agony. I feel none of that with Cash. Only heat, desire, and the need to exorcise his pain. He hasn’t hurt me, and I don’t think he plans to. Even if he did, it would be an accident, not because he gets off on it.
He pulls me back and rubs his erection against me. “I need an answer, Hazel. Part of me or all of me. It’s happening either way. So choose, before I choose for you.”
CASH
I hate it when people walk away from me. Hazel has every right to be angry, but not at me. I’m doing the best I can to understand what she’s going through, and I don’t want to make it worse. But she’s right. I haven’t let her in. Only cleared out a spot for her to settle her baggage, and there’s very little room for that with what I’ve got trapped inside. I want to take it all from her and mend her back together, but how can I do that when I can’t even do it for myself?
This woman absolutely captivates me. I love every side of her that she’s shown me, including her anger. She’s a force to be reckoned with when she unleashes it. The part of me that I’ve hidden and tried to ignore for years sprang to life when she stormed off. No way in hell is she pushing me away now that I’ve given myself to her. The most important people in my life have pushed me aside and left me. I promised myself that if I ever let anyone in again that they would never leave me. I wouldn’t allow it. I couldn’t survive it.
I fought hard not to let the sorrow, hatred, and jealousy consume me completely. It was a miserable battle and a long, lonely road. Maybe it was my fault for not letting others in, but it was too much of a risk, and I was too vulnerable. I was used to being alone, and I enjoyed it.
Now, those years seem like a horrible dream. I feel as though I’ve been in a waking coma all this time; a dead man treading grooves into the dirt and never veering. Hazel is my awakening. She’s brought out emotions in me that were dead. And I say dead because I honestlydon’t ever remember feeling this way. I’m sure I did as a child, but it’s been so long I can’t recall what they were like. It’s confusing as fuck.
Thirty-four years fueled on animosity, just to have my fucking heart kickstart back to life. I’m too old to learn how to be human now, but I will if it means she’ll be there. My only fear is that she will run when I admit to what I’ve done.
I tried to let her go after Phil attacked her. It’s what she wanted, and it’s what I thought I needed to do. There were so many conflicting emotions. I wanted her to be happy, even if that meant not being with me. But I knew eventually she’d meet someone else, and they would have her. The jealousy and hatred that I thought I had control of ignited again. Only, this time, it went off like a nuclear bomb. There was no fighting it off. I was losing my goddamn mind and wearing the carpets thin, pacing about like a caged animal needing to hunt. There would be no substitute. The only thing that would quench it was Hazel.
Those eyes that see straight to the center of my being remain fixated on the door as I step in front of her and grab the hem of her shirt. I take extra care as I pull it over her head and drop it on the floor before kneeling in front of her.
Her gaze doesn’t falter as she sucks in deep, even breaths. She’s not fooling me. The tittering pulse in her neck gives her away. Nice to know that I have the same effect on her that she has on me. I run my tongue above the top of her worn, flannel pants. Her stomach sucks in on a silent gasp as I slip my fingers inside the waistband.
“What’sit gonna be, beautiful?”
Even if she chooses part of me today, she will eventually get all of me. If it takes giving it to her in small doses, then that’s what I’ll do. Deep down, though, I want her to want it all right now. Shoving me away earlier opened my eyes to the possibility that she could disappear. I want her to know that I own her as much as she owns me. If she runs, I will find her and remind her where she belongs. Just like I’m going to do right now.
Hands sliding down her legs, my nails lightly scratch the unscathed parts of her flesh as I drag her pants with them. Her heavy lids close, and her breath hisses between her teeth. I can’t tell if it’s the band rubbing the backs of her tattered thighs or my nails eliciting that response. The pants reach her knees and drop to the floor, pooling around her ankles. I trail a finger up the inside of her leg. Goosebumps follow in its wake, chasing my finger up to the bruises on the inside of her thigh.
Lifting up her leg, I drape it on my shoulder and nibble on the sensitive skin covered in bruises. I suck it into my mouth, and Hazel moans loudly. My willpower starts to slip away, and I bite down harder, giving in to my need to mark her as mine. I can feel my teeth rub together, separated only by the skin of her thigh. A scream fills the room, but it’s not one of terror. It’s one of pleasure. Hazel wants what I have to offer. Which kind of shocks me, after all she’s been through. I’m not going to question her present need of pain. If this is what it takes to help her heal, I’ll do it. It’s allowing me to release all that I’ve kept trapped in a cage for so long.
“All of me it is.”
Her head snaps to mine, and her guarded eyes widen with surprise.
“Promise?” Her voice quivers, despair mixed with her current anger that I won’t follow through.
I grow more furious. I want to believe it’s because of her doubting me, now of all times. But the truth is, I’m fucking pissed at myself for making her question me and knowing that she has every right to after what I’ve said and done. The guarded part of my heart doubts that I can force it open.
I surge to my feet with a growl. Her leg slips off my shoulder, and I catch the outside of her thigh in my hand. Wrapping my other arm around her, I jerk her to me and slam my mouth against hers. Hazel’s lips part, and her tongue meets mine with desperation. Her hands grip my face, pulling me closer, as she sucks my tongue deeper into her mouth. I groan and squeeze her tighter.
Everything hurts right now. My cock, my heart, the broken pieces of my soul. They ache for the reprieve of the hell they are suffering. Only Hazel can do that. She calms my inner demon when she’s around. She soothes the broken child that never healed. Her nearness, her smile, and her touch make me whole instead of fractured. The more I sink myself deep inside her, the more the pieces seem to fit. For once in my life, I would like to be whole.
Our chests heave as Hazel breaks our kiss and slides her hands down my sides to pull my shirt up over my head. Her hot flesh meets mine, and she moans whenher nipples brush against my chest. My cock jerks in response, begging to be released from the confines of my jeans. She kisses down my neck and scrapes her teeth along my collar bone. My skin prickles, and she runs her tongue over them, acknowledging the effect she has on me. She works her way down my body until she’s on her knees in front of me.
Her hands stop on the button of my jeans, and she looks up. Two different versions of Hazel rests within her molten gaze—one asking permission to take what she needs, and the other demanding it. She runs a finger over the bulge in my pants, and my lips part as I suck in a harsh breath. The constraint is becoming too much, cutting the circulation off to my dick. She leans forward and runs her tongue over my jeans before tilting her head and biting the girth through the material. My head falls back on a groan as my fingers sink into her hair. There’s a tug on my jeans, and a second later the pressure of the fabric disappears. Cool air hits my cock, and it springs free, slapping Hazel’s cheek and jerking in response. I might come now if she’s not mindful.
She nuzzles her cheek against my length, and I sigh as her breath eases over my tip. Her tongue darts out and licks away the drop of cum clinging to it. I can’t contain myself any longer. As she opens her mouth, my hips buck, and I shove myself into her warm mouth with a groan. Her eyes widen as she stares up at me. I pull out slowly, and her lips lock around my cock. The suction of her mouth is almost as good as her tight pussy.
Just thinking about sliding home as she sucks me as far as she can into her wet mouth has me wrapping my hand up in her hair and pushing her lips all the wayto the base. She struggles for a second as I hold her in place, but then settles. Her lust-filled silver orbs consume me as she takes me tip to base over and over again. I may just die. Each teasing stroke of her tongue and teeth have me on the brink of insanity. If I could choose my death, it would be to wither away from Hazel’s ministrations.
