“Enough.”
She pauses, her lips stretched around me, and then pulls back slowly until she releases me with a pop. Grabbing her arms, I jerk her to her feet. She winces, but I don’t apologize. Hazel wants this, and fuck if I don’t want to give it to her the way I please. The two parts of my myself war with one another over the choice I’m about to make. I don’t want to hurt her, but I promised to give her all of me. That means opening the abyss and unleashing the darkness I’ve hidden away. If I accept that part of myself, will she?
I run a finger down her cheek, and she shivers. “Get on your hands and knees.”
She doesn’t question me and climbs atop the bed. Crawling forward, she stops and drops to her elbows, leaving her ass up in the air. It infuriates me that Phil’s presence is in this room in every bruise marring her beautiful body. It’s a reminder that he took what she willingly gives me. Control. And from this point on I will always have that over her. He will never take that from me.
I ease myself between her legs and pause for a moment to say goodbye to the person I pretended to befor the majority of my life. Running my palm down her spine, I feel her scars and allow them to mend with my own. Her hair tickles my hand as her back arches to my touch. In one swift move, I pull her head back by her hair and swat her tattered ass. She lets out a guttural scream that calls to my inner demon. The moan that follows coaxes him out of hiding and welcomes him home.
The acts that follow no longer put a shade of doubt in my mind as to who I really am. Questioning Phil’s ability to harm Hazel for his own pleasure was only me judging my deeper, darker desires. It fueled not only my hatred for him, but for myself. I have come to peace with myself and my actions. However, I have not with Phil. If anything, I fucking despise him even more, knowing the kind of pleasure he took from her. He better be prepared for retaliation, because that shit is coming in spades.
CHAPTER 8
HAZEL
We spend the rest of the weekend either curled up on the couch watching movies or fucking each other’s brains out. He’s made it his mission to make me laugh and smile. They haven’t come easy lately, that’s for sure, but Cash has this way of pulling them from me when I least expect it. He can look at me a certain way, making my belly flip, and I don’t even realize my lips are spreading over my face. And when he relaxes, that megawatt smile of his is almost a permanent fixture on his face. I can’t help but stare at him, which only gets me that damn look again. It stirs up all kinds of reactions and memories. I may be beat to hell, but I’m sure as fuck not dead. We’ve proven that over and over again.
For the first time in a week, I feel almost normal. Cash doesn’t show me pity or constantly ask if I’m okay. He hasn’t been staring at my bruises or asking if I want to talk about it. If I wanted to tell him about it I would, and he knows that. Honestly, I don’t think he wants to know the details, and I don’t think it’sa good idea to explain them. He already wants to hurt Phil for what he’s done to me. If I told him all of it, he would rush out the door to hunt him down.
Cash promised to let me in, and he’s doing that little by little. I’m okay with that. I understand that it takes time to reveal your secrets to people. Whatever he’s been hiding all these years has really done a number on him. That’s not something he can work through overnight. I’ll be here when he’s ready to discuss them, and I’ll remain as he deals with those issues. There’s nothing he can tell me that would scare me away.
His cellphone chimes, and he leans forward, plucking it from the coffee table. A moment later, he sets it on the table and pulls me back in his embrace. He’s no longer relaxed. His body is stiff with worry. Something happened.
Cash kisses the side of my neck and sighs. “I have a meeting tonight.” He nervously rubs a frayed spot on my pajama pants. “It won’t last long, but I’d like you to come with me.”
A meeting at night? That can only mean one thing. It’s a drug meeting. We’ve had such an amazing weekend that I pushed all thoughts of his extracurricular activities out of my mind. His finger picks nervously at the pinhole in my pants as he waits for my response. I don’t want to go. What if they get busted, and I’m there? That’s all I need, to have my ass handed to me by the cops after the beating I took. I don’t feel uneasy being in his home, but I just got here and don’t want to stay alone.
“I’ll feel better if you’rewith me, where I can keep you safe.” He searches my face. “This will be the only time. I’ll never ask this of you again.”
“Okay, but this is theonlytime. I don’t want any part of that shit, Cash.”
He kisses down the side of my face, as if saying thank you repeatedly, and relaxes again. “I know,” he mutters, as he continues to nuzzle my neck. “I promise it’ll be the only time.”
PHIL
Television makes being an outlaw seem like an exciting and interesting journey. It is far from the truth. Not when you don’t have the connections needed to lead a lavish, illegal lifestyle. I wasn’t bred to be an outlaw. The past week has proven that. But I don’t want to be an inmate, either. I stick to the motel room, bored out of my mind, and attempt to not go crazy trapped in this disgusting fucking box.
I’ve burnt some nervous energy off on the bitch who’s a few doors down. She enjoys the rougher side of me and begs for me to let it out on her. After the first time, and the bruises appeared, I started to pretend she was Hazel. It doesn’t feel the same. It’s controlled, and I’m not sure I like that. But it is what it is, and she didn’t complain once when I called her Hazel’s name. She’s fucked up, so I give her what she wants and take what I need. I refused to pay her. If anyone should be paid it’s me, for giving her what she asked for.
The phone that has been silent lets out a shrilling ring, making Dustin and I flinch. This is what we’ve been waiting for. At least, it better be what we’ve been waiting for. If Samuel backs out on our deal, I will hunt him down and kill him, but not before getting my money back.
“Hello.”
“They are calling a meeting tonight. The rooms will be empty, and you’ll have a short window to get in and out undetected. Be nearby and ready to move. Do you remember the plan?”
Of course, I remember the fucking plan. I memorized that information the night we met and talked about it. I almost yell it at him, but I bite my tongue and roll my eyes instead. “Yes.”
“I’ll text you when it’s safe to come in.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Dustin fidgets as he waits for me to fill him in.
“Tonight,” I tell him as I toss the phone on the bed. A smile spreads over my face as I turn to him. “This will all be over tonight.”
CASH
“I want you to stay in here while we have the meeting,” I tell Hazel as I lead her into Dale’s office. “The less you know, the better.” She nods her head and checks it out. “Here’s the remote for the TV, and abathroom is through that door. Just relax and I’ll come get you when it’s over.”
