“It’s not. But I miss goofing off with you and Katie.” She leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest. “Mike still won’t let youcomeback?”
I shook my head. “Nope. Apparently, I don’t fit the image of thediner.”
“That’s so dumb. You worked your ass off in this place for years. And the new guy? I mean, he’ll be fine. But he still hasn’t found his rhythm and he keeps to himself. I want things the waytheywere.”
“You and me both. Speaking of, you know what I’m goingtoask.”
Gwen’s face fell and that was all the answer I needed. I had hoped Katie would at least be talking to Gwen. She wasn’t the one who scared her. She shouldn’t be the one punished. Unfortunately, based on the expression that was on her face, it looked like Gwen hadn’t heard from hereither.
As much as I knew I messed up with Katie, I was mad to see she had cut everyone out. It didn’t seem right. I changed the subject to spare us both from the pain. Katie had only been in town for a few months, but it had been enough to make those of us who knew her care deeply for her. “What are your plans for tomorrow?” Iasked.
“Oh, nothing major. My grandparents came in yesterday and are staying with us. My mom is cooking dinner and everyone will get drunk and say how they really feel abouteverything.”
“Yikes.”
She nodded. “Double yikes. It’s a mess, but I guess that’s what families do on the one day we set aside for being thankful, right? What about you, any big plans? Have you heard fromMarcoyet?”
“Not yet. I keep telling myself he’ll talk to me when he’s ready. My dad still hasn’t come back, so I think we’ll be doing something really small. I don’t even know if my mom bought aturkey.”
Gwen shot up in her seat from the relaxed posture she had been sitting in and slapped her hands on the counter. “Are you serious? You have to come over then. I’ll ask myparents.”
“No, don’t do that.” I stopped her before she could get too excited. “I honestly don’t know if I can take any more drama. I think I’m just going to enjoy some time around the house withmymom.”
“Okay. Suit yourself. But let me know if you change your mind. We can sneak some wine and complain about ourowncrap.”
I chuckled at that. “I will. And let me know if you hear fromKatie?”
“Of course,” she said, as the bell from the front door of the restaurant dinged. Gwen looked over at the family walking in. “I should get up. I am workingafterall.”
“One does what they must to appease the ghosts,” Iteased.
“Well, of course, we wouldn’t want to make the ghosts unhappy. Poor Sarah wouldn’t know what to do,” Gwen teased back, even though we both knew my joke fell flat. She got up from the booth and gave a sad smile. “I’ll be back with your usual inafew.”
“Thanks,” I answered, and she was off to greet the newcustomers.
I pulled my phone out as soon as she was gone and looked down at it. No new messages. No missed calls. I knew it would look the same as it had for the past few weeks, but I almost thought if I willed it hard enough it would happen. I debated whether or not I should send a new text, but came to the same conclusion I did every time I considereddoingso.
I turned my phone off to avoid the temptation and sat in silence while I waited for my food. I went through the list of things to be thankful for and tried to dwell on my future and all the plans I had, instead of dwelling on the mistakes ofmypast.
I managed to only think about how much I missed Katie twice before I finished my food and wentbackhome.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Katie
“Thanks for coming to get me,”I said to my dad, as he walked up to me. He met me just on the other side of the securitycheckpoint.
I was back at the Boise airport ready to try again. My dad had welcomed me back with proverbial open arms when I asked if it would be okay to come home. No hesitation, just questions of what he could do to make me comesooner.
I had spent the last few weeks getting my act together back in Florida and was ready to face my friends again. Assuming they were still myfriends.
It hadn’t taken me that long to sell my car in Florida and tie up the loose ends with different bank accounts and trusts. But Thanksgiving had been so close and I was heading to Idaho for the long-haul this time. I had wanted to spend the day with mygrandparents.
It had been a really great day. My aunt, uncle and cousins came for dinner. We spent the time reminiscing about our time with my mom. By the time we actually started the meal, we were a soggy mess of tears. But it had also felt good to share memories with one another. I realized I didn’t have to pretend it wasn’t hard or act like she never existed. I also didn’t have to spend my days lying in bed only dwelling on how harditwas.
There was a middle ground that allowed me to grieve but also to be strong enough to keep going. The time back in Florida reminded meofthat.
But it also solidified the fact that I was ready for a change in scenery, and I wanted that change to be in Idaho. I wanted to repair my relationship with my dad. He had made some poor choices, but I was also beginning to realize I hadn’t given him the opportunity to make up for them. I wanted toforgivehim.
