“And taking it slow,” Saskia said, her face just about back to its normal colour.
“And not asking for anyone’s opinions.” Kivi gave her sister a look.Don’t scare her off.
“May I offer just one? One little… um, suggestion?” Eva said in a small voice. It was so unlike her usual confident tone that it made Kivi pause, and exchange a glance with Saskia.
“Fine.” The word left her on the tail of a sigh.
Eva leaned in, beckoning the two of them close, as if she were gearing herself up to reveal a huge secret.
“Don’t have sex on the kitchen counters.”
After a beat, in which she and Saskia just stared at her sister as if she’d imparted the secrets to the universe, Eva cracked a smile. Saskia placed her hands over her face again, but her shoulders began to shake. One corner of Kivi’s mouth lifted, then the other, and soon she was laughing along with the other two. Her sister and her… lover.
Her lover.
After all these years, what a mind-blowing statement.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Saskia
Over the next week, Saskia found that being in a relationship (of sorts) with a woman was remarkably different to being in a relationship with a man.
Not just the sex – although it was mind-bogglingly better, in more ways that she could think of. Kivi was far more thoughtful than any man she had been with – some had made her feel like nothing more than a toy, but Kivi seemed to almost worship her. They moved with each other with something near to reverence, both slightly in awe of how they had the ability to make each other feel.
Even outside the bed, the differences remained. They seemed to be on the same spiritual wavelength, both equally committed to making whatever this was work. Kivi had asked her on the Wednesday whether she was comfortable with the title of ‘girlfriend’. “There’s no pressure,” she had added. “It’s how I would like to refer to you within my mind, but if it doesn’t feel right, you can just remain as Saskia.”
Saskia had agreed – the title actually gave her the warm and fuzzies. While not exactly unfamiliar, hearing it come out ofKivi’s mouth gave it a new dimension somehow. Some women referred to platonic female friends as their ‘girlfriend’, but again, Kivi’s tone gave it a sort of veneration. As if it was her privilege to use that word in conjunction with Saskia. She’d never known that before. A man just wouldn’t be able to dismantle his machismo enough to do that. They just couldn’t.
And they could share clothes. If they wanted to. That was a bizarre notion, but one that came in very handy the following Friday morning. It was a surprisingly grey and blustery one for the last day of June, and Kivi appeared at the door of Saskia’s bedroom after breakfast with a gilet in one hand and a pair of walking boots in the other.
“You said you were a size five, didn’t you?” she said, dropping the boots on the floor with a thump.
“Yes…?” Saskia replied, staring at the boots in disgust. “You want me to wear these?”
“It’s not sandal weather,” Kivi said, looking down at her flip-flops. “And the beach here is more shingle than sand, at least on the bit we’re going to. You’ll break your ankle if you wear your suede boots. And your feet will hurt in your trainers.”
Kivi was familiar with every item of footwear in her wardrobe, Saskia realised. She must have been watching her closer than she’d thought. But she’d be lying if she’d said it didn’t tickle her. Not that she showed it at that moment – she stepped forward, and picked up one of the boots, pinching it between her index finger and thumb in the manner of somebody picking up a dirty tissue.
“These boots are an abomination to fashion.” She deliberately made her tone snotty, and her accent pretentiously posh. “What if somebody recognised me? How theChicaset would laugh.”
“Oh, give over, Miranda Priestly.” Kivi gave her shoulder an affectionate shove. “Get those boots on. I’ll meet you at the front gate in five.”
“Fine,”Saskia huffed. She pulled on the dreadful lace-up clodhoppers and scruffy khaki gilet, then chuckled at herself in the mirror. Kivi had already learned to call her out on her bullshit, and to tell the difference between bullshit and a boundary. It had only taken one minor disagreement in their week-long relationship for her to learn the difference. And now they were going on their first proper date. Just a walk along the beach with Toto, because with a big booking over the weekend that was all Kivi had time for, but she was still surprisingly excited. Never had such a mundane outing been so thrilling when she was with a man. That was another difference between them and Kivi.
Toto bounced up and down and yelped when he saw Saskia approaching. She bent down to greet him, succeeding in getting her hands covered in dog fur for her trouble. Then she and Kivi set off, keeping a decorous distance while they were in sight of the guest house, chatting about their weekend plans.
“I’ll think of you, having a grand old time at the village fete while I’m chasing around after all our new guests tomorrow,” Kivi teased. “Will you think of me?”
“I’ll do better than that. I’ll have a cold iced tea for you,” Saskia taunted. “From the pub, no less. And if you’re very,verynice to me, I’ll bring one back for you.”
Saskia knew how much Kivi liked iced tea, and she had already learned the power of using it as leverage. It worked wonders – Kivi’s eyes darkened, she stopped walking, and her tongue darted out to lick her lips.
“Nice to you in what way?”
“I’m sure you can figure that out for yourself,” Saskia said, giving her arm a kindly pat and continuing to walk.
After not too long, Kivi led her down some steps between what appeared to be two cliffs. At the bottom lay the beach, the sea choppier than usual and a steel grey compared to its usual cobalt blue. Toto was let off his leash, bounding off with the energy and grace of a gazelle on crack cocaine, and Kivi’s hand found its way into Saskia’s. They walked further, until they came to the rocks upon which Saskia had been sitting when they first met. Some of the rocks were tall, six feet at least, with patches of sand between them, big enough for two people to sit (albeit close together) and still be sheltered. Kivi stopped and pulled her down, until they were sitting side-by-side, legs stretched out in front of them.
