It had not escaped his notice that they were in the garden – the very one where they had found Eliza’s body and Reuben had refused to set foot inside ever since. Somehow, Jane had managed to coax him out into the open and the child was clearly at ease.
Even now, she was still healing his son, working tirelessly to give him back his childhood.
But... what about Thomas? She had managed to convince him that he was worth something. She had absolved him of his faults, had convinced him that perhaps he was deserving of a better hand than he had been dealt. So why was she suddenly so difficult to reach?
“Perhaps I am thinking too much about this issue,” Thomas muttered to himself, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling. “I will try and speak with her. This could be a simple misunderstanding.”
However simple it might be, getting Jane’s attention still proved to be difficult. For the rest of the day, whenever he approached her, she would give him some sort of excuse, claiming to be preoccupied.
At first, he had walked down to meet both Jane and Reuben as they walked back into the house from the garden, and she barely let him speak before she said,
“I apologize, Your Grace, but Reuben needs a bath right away. I fear he might have paint all over him, given how enthusiastically he handled his palette.”
And she was gone before he could say more.
He had seen her again, about an hour later, headed towards the library.
“Jane –”
“I promised Reuben that I would be gone for a moment only. Perhaps this can wait, Your Grace,” she dismissively stated, slipping past him.
Later, just after dinner, she said she wanted to spend some more time with Reuben, but that was Thomas’ limit.
“Are you avoiding me, Jane?”
She stopped then, glancing at his face for a moment before lowering her eyes.
“Why would you think such a thing?”
Thomas tried not to scoff, still feeling rather on edge after having to follow her about all day, like a puppy begging for attention.
“Well, you have been strangely preoccupied all day. We have enough staff to run simple errands for you, Jane. You can afford to take a moment to do something else and allow the people who have been caring for Reuben longer than you have to help,” he pointed out, still feeling irritated.
Jane narrowed her eyes and folded her arms, her expression tinged with petulant annoyance.
“Well, I would much rather do it, since I can. He feels comfortable with me, anyway, so I would I want to pass on the duty to someone else? Was the entire purpose of our marriage not for me to help him express himself more and speak? He has been able to do as much, thanks to my consistent efforts, so why would I want to slow down now?”
Thomas could feel his irritation morphing into something petulant and bitter.
“That is not what I am trying to imply. You – look, I feel as though you are upset with me for some reason. We haven’t spoke since – not since that day, which was days ago. And all I want is to understand why.”
He had noticed she had started addressing him formally as well. It was evident she was putting up some kind of wall between them, but Thomas could not fathom her reasons for doing so.
“What I do not understand is why you are acting as though this was not a part of the terms of our deal. Our time together is nearly over, and I am merely determined to give all my attentionand efforts to the reason I agreed to this marriage in the first place. There is no need for my focus to shift elsewhere,” she told him, voice cold and gaze empty.
Thomas could feel his heart quiver and shake as it was struck by pain. He had thought... he believed that things had changed between them. The way she had spoken to him, the things she had said, the way she accepted him – his truth, his touch and affection... he thought they were no longer bound to the rules he had set.
“Surely, you do not mean that. Jane –”
“We only have a week left. Let us just – just focus our minds on what has to be done, and forget about other insignificant distractions,” Jane snapped.
Thomas stared at her, the truth of what was happening clearer than he was willing to admit.
He had been wrong. Her feeling had remained unchanged, through out their time together, whereas, he had. And as much as they craved acknowledgement, this thing alive within him that craved her attention, her love and affection, this thing that needed her entirely, he could not force her to do anything. He would not be so greedy and selfish.
“You are right,” he conceded, his heart beating still as it was ripped apart by the words leaving his mouth with every passing moment. “It... it would be best to simply focus on what must be done, ahead of the end of... this.”
Jane nodded curtly, then asked, “Will that be all, Your Grace?”
