“How could I have done such a thing? Why did I give away something so precious to me? It is all that I have,” she mumbled, sinking to her knees in despair.
There was only one thing left for her to do now. Jane needed to put an end to this thing between them – whatever it was. She had tried previously, but it was clear she had not felt strongly enough about it, and it was only a matter of time before she was swept up by his charm.
It could not happen again. she had given him all of her control – the very thing she had fought hard to keep. The reason why she was prepared to live a life of solitude, rather than to trade away the only thing that made her free for security.
She had given Thomas her control, and she needed to take it back at once.
“This is the only way,” she stated firmly, renewing her resolve.
They were always headed in this direction, their path already determined from the start. She only needed to put her walls back up for the remainder of their time together.
And hope that they remained up.
“– and I believe it is in your best interest to address these concerns as soon as possible.”
Thomas nodded, barely paying attention to what his butler was telling him. Mr Johnson sighed quietly, allowing the duke a moment before he cleared his throat, reclaiming the attention he once held.
“Your Grace, would you rather I gave the reports on your tenants at a later time?” he asked politely.
Thomas blinked, dragging his gaze away from the window, frowning as he realized that he could not recall what they had been discussing previously. After a few seconds of silence – all the while his butler watched him patiently – Thomas nodded slowly.
“Yes... perhaps that would be for the best.”
Mr Johnson seemed to agree quite easily. “I will leave you to your devices then, Your Grace.”
Thomas glanced at the window once more before calling his butler back.
“Wait, Johnson.”
“Yes, Your Grace?”
Thomas paused, wondering how he could formally address the concern that had begun to swirl within him. There was a likelihood that he was overreacting and thinking too much.
But he could hardly deny the sinking feeling in his gut. Ever since the time they spent together – unfairly brief, in his humble opinion – Jane had been rather distant towards him.
He had somewhat brazenly expected that she would feel more inclined to spend more time with him, now that it was clear that there was perhaps something tangible between them. Truthfully, he did not hold any expectations at the start, but now that they had found themselves in such a situation, he could not bring himself to resist.
Yet... Jane’s sudden demeanour was rather discouraging. She had adamantly kept her distance from him for the last few days, seeming to be only focused on Reuben.
Perhaps that was for the best, yes, but... he could not help the selfish and greedy desire bubbling in him.
“The duchess... is she doing all right? I have noticed she seems rather... preoccupied, as of late,” Thomas said eventually.
The butler hesitated, appearing to be deep in thought for a moment, before he shook his head.
“I believe she is well, Your Grace. I cannot say that I have noticed anything amiss. She has been rather attached to the young lord, but I hardly find that to be out of the ordinary,” Mr Johnson replied.
Thomas forced himself to nod, still feeling uneasy.
“Perhaps you are right... Disregard my words. I am likely thinking too much.”
Mr Johnson nodded, his face passive as he queried, “Will that be all, Your Grace?”
“Yes. For now,” Thomas sighed, relenting.
The butler finally took his leave and the duke leaned back into his chair, his mind swirling with deep thoughts.
His gaze wandered back to the window, peering down to the grass where Jane was seated on a blanket, with Reuben layingbeside her, his whole face alight with joy as he painted along the spine of a book.
