But the problem with having a best friend who had known you for thirty-five years was that they knew when you were lying.
Dude …
I’ll miss you guys. Send pics okay?
Yeah. Benji …
Don’t get sappy, dickhead. I’ll be seein ya.
The text wasn’t exactly poetry, but he couldn’t handle it if Mav got emotional. The dude was sentimental. The problem was: so was Benji. It was easier to pretend that they were just two bros, parting ways for a while. Not brothers, saying goodbye for a long time.
The problem with Mav was that he fucking went there anyway.
I love you, man. Come home soon.
Nina says she won’t forgive you if you don’t come home to meet the baby.
Benji laughed when a notification popped up: Maverick Hunt added Nina Keller.
He’s right, I won’t. Take your time. But then come home, Benji. We need you. And you need us.
Take care of my family, Neens.
Always.
He turned off his phone before either of them could say more. And then he sat there on the swing under the stars, breathing in home for the last time.
Chapter 30
Sierra put Poppy to bed long before midnight and the start of the new year, and even though she had showered, changed into her pjs and climbed beneath her own covers, she didn’t sleep.
She hugged her body pillow where only last night she had snuggled into Benji and felt his arms wrap around her, keeping her safe when her mind drifted into sleep and the dreams she couldn’t control.
Her bed still carried his scent, and even though it was silly, she felt like he was nearby, guarding her despite everything – all the pain and grief she had caused him.
She came in and out of sleep throughout the night, alternately drifting off and then coming to in a bout of panic when she realized what she’d done.
By morning, she was exhausted. She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as tears of loss and frustration and fear slipped silently from her eyes.
The quiet knock had her glancing at the clock on her nightstand. It was barely six in the morning, hours before Markus or Poppy would wake up, and for one heart-stopping moment as she called, ‘Come in,’ she prayed that it was Benji and that they could talk.
It wasn’t.
Her heart retreated back into despair as Markus poked his head in. ‘Did I wake you up?’
‘No.’ Sierra sat up in bed. She raised one eyebrow when she saw that he was already dressed. ‘You going somewhere?’
Markus grinned sheepishly. ‘I’m going home. Juan … he wants to talk.’
‘That’s great, Markus. I’m really proud of you.’ And wasn’t that so much more important than, ‘I’m so happy for you?’ Because he hadn’t waited around for good things to happen to him; he’d stepped up and fought for what he wanted.
‘Nothing’s fixed yet. But I have to try, you know. Maybe rewrite my own expectations for myself …’
Sierra’s throat closed as his words echoed through her.
‘I wanted to give this to you before I left.’ He pulled a framed, square photograph from behind his back. It wasn’t that big, maybe two by two feet. He held the back to her as he explained. ‘Do you remember when I said I hadn’t gottentheshot from the porch?’
‘Yeah. Yeah, of course.’
