“Of course you don’t. I wouldn’t either.” They shared a look that somehow stripped away all the years and took them back to the day when they’d all had enough of their father’s dogged attempt at controlling their lives, to the day they’d all gone their separate ways until news of their father’s passing had reached them. “I’m sorry. I suppose I just want you to have what I have. I’m ridiculously happy, you know.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” And he was. Truly. During the last nine months he’d managed to acquire a similar joy. But there was still an element of doubt, uncertainty, and a distinct fear that crept under his skin whenever he thought of remaining on land forever. It made no sense, but deciding to marry Cassandra had been remarkably easy when compared with quitting his life as a captain. It was almost as if…
Devlin froze as everything became clear.
It was almost as if he was thinking of relinquishing his identity. If he wasn’t a captain, then who the hell was he? And what was he going to do with the rest of his life?
Chapter 18
A comfortable feelingof rightness settled over Cassandra as she stepped through Clearview’s front door five days later. Visiting Mary and seeing Emily had been lovely. Travelling around the world with Devlin had been a grand adventure. But this had been her home for almost fourteen years. In every room and every corner she could see glimpses of the past, memories of all the people who’d breathed life into this place.
“I wish I’d known you were coming,” Katherine said once Cassandra and Devlin had removed their outer garments and Penelope had run off to find her friends. “I’d have prepared a feast to celebrate.”
“No need for that,” Cassandra assured her. She followed her into the kitchen to help prepare the tea while Devlin carried their luggage upstairs. “I feel as though we’ve done nothing but eat since we arrived, what with Mary planning a grand supper and Emily and my mother-in-law following suit. All three arranged baskets of food for us to take along in the carriage, if you can believe it.”
Katherine grinned. “You are meant to be eating for two.”
“Yes, but not for two fully grown adults.” Smiling, she perched herself on a stool and glanced around. “I see you’ve painted the cabinet doors over there.”
“A necessity after Henry and Clyde attempted tocleanthem.” She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips while hanging the kettle over the fire. “They found a piece of chipped paint and decided to give it a tug. By the time I found out what they were up to, the doors were pockmarked.”
“Oh dear.” Cassandra bit her lip and tried not to laugh. “I presume you punished them for their crime?”
“Oh yes. They were made to tidy up the rice I accidentally spilled.” Katherine delivered the most evil smile Cassandra had ever seen, then added, “One grain at a time.”
It was impossible for Cassandra to contain her laughter any longer. “How perfectly diabolical of you.”
“I thought so.” She retrieved a tin and began scooping tea leaves into a strainer. “I’m glad you’re back, Cass.”
“Me too.”
Katherine eyed her curiously. “And will you be staying for a while?”
“Yes. If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like to have my baby here since it’s where I’ll feel most at home without Devlin.”
“What are you saying?” Katherine stared at her and then her eyes widened. “Are you telling me he won’t be here for his child’s birth?”
“He has to work, Katherine, and besides, it’s not so strange really. Plenty of fathers miss out on such things.” It was what she’d kept telling herself since she’d realized what his intentions were.
“Certainly,” Katherine agreed, “if they’re away at war perhaps, in need of a steady income, or simply don’t care.”
Cassandra sighed. She really didn’t want to discuss Devlin’s reasons for leaving. Not because she doubted his love for her or worried the birth of their first child wasn’t important to him. It was perhaps because he had said he needed to make a living, even though he was the brother of a duke and was quite unlikely to suffer financial difficulties. Surely he could at least skip one journey and send his crew without him. With this last voyage being Monty’s last, it might be slightly more tricky, but Bronswick was pretty capable as was Mr. Harris, the boatswain. And Trevor had, on the return from Sydney, started to learn how to captain a ship. Yet Devlin insisted he had to go, which meant there had to be some other reason – maybe one he himself didn’t fully comprehend.
Or, she considered, he simply loved the sea more than he loved her.
Now there was a depressing thought.
“You have to tell me everything,” Katherine said as she handed Cassandra a mug. “Did you see any sharks along the way? I’ve read they can cut a man in half with their teeth.
Cassandra grinned and shook her head. “No, there were no sharks.” Together, they removed themselves to the kitchen table. Katherine placed a tin of biscuits in the center while asking additional questions about the people of China and if they really ate with sticks.
A movement beyond the window caught Cassandra’s eye. It was Devlin who’d apparently chosen to go outside and give her a bit more alone time with Katherine. She smiled as she watched him kick a ball to James who passed it to William. Henry and Clyde were naturally too busy climbing a tree to join in the game.
“Perhaps we should take the tea and biscuits out there,” Cassandra suggested. She hadn’t even greeted all the children yet and was suddenly eager to do so. Not only because she’d missed them, but because she was eager to answer the pull she felt as she watched Devlin interact with them.
“I think the children would be delighted,” Katherine said. “I’ll grab a blanket for us to sit on. We’ll have a tea picnic of sorts.”
Cassandra picked up the tin of biscuits and made her way outside where she was immediately accosted by all the children who stopped whatever they were doing so they could come hug her. And receive a biscuit each as reward.
