“Join me,” Mary told Cassandra once the children had scampered back up to the nursery and the butler had gone to dispatch a couple of messengers. She dropped a curious look at Cassandra’s belly, “I’m sure you’ve a great deal to tell me.”
“This way,” Caleb said once the ladies had disappeared into the parlor. “We can celebrate your return in my study while they talk.” He gave Devlin a pointed look. “I’m sure you’d prefer a glass of brandy right now to a cup of tea.”
Devlin traipsed after his brother. “I certainly would.”
“Now, I don’t mean to be indelicate,” Caleb said once he’d handed Devlin a glass of his finest brandy and they’d each taken a sip, “but I’m not sure there’s any other way to address this.” He paused as if waiting for Devlin to leap in and save him, but Devlin just raised an eyebrow and took another swallow of his drink. Caleb sighed and then finally asked, “Is your wife increasing?”
It was impossible to stop a wide toothy grin from spreading across his face. So Devlin just gave up and nodded. “She is.”
“Well, congratulations then. I’m immensely pleased for both of you. And for the rest of us too since we’ll finally be seeing more of each other.” Caleb crossed to his chair and sat.
“Because I’m going to stay in England from now on?”
“Exactly!”
Devlin scratched the back of his neck. “I, um…I’m not sure that’s what I want to do.”
“A bit late for that now.” Caleb’s eyebrows had drawn together in the beginnings of a scowl.
Sighing, Devlin dropped into a vacant chair and stretched out his legs, crossing them at the ankles. He studied his brother. “Having a child doesn’t mean I can’t keep on sailing. Monty’s been doing it for decades.”
“True. I’m sure there are countless men who do it. But is that really what you want? I mean, I always thought you left to escape our father. Later, it seemed there may have been other reasons at play, but I would think you now have more reason to stay.”
“Maybe,” Devlin allowed. But the truth was he wasn’t sure. Whenever he stayed in England for extended periods of time, he started to panic. Just being in the same country as his father, even if the man had been dead for six years, tended to make him angry. And having to pass through London, where the memories of his own shortcomings always came back to haunt him whenever a carriage drove too fast, had always made his blood run cold.
Nothing had ever made him feel better or happier than setting sail and leaving England behind.
“What does Cassandra think of your plan?” Caleb quietly asked.
“I haven’t exactly discussed it with her.”
Caleb snorted. “My God, you really are a novice at this marriage business, aren’t you?”
“What the devil is that supposed to mean?” Devlin asked, disgruntled.
“Only that I’ll wager an argument is heading your way.” He scoffed and shook his head. “When are you planning to abandon her then?”
“I’m not…” Enough. Devlin was tired. He’d sailed around the world for Christ sake. The last thing he needed was a lecture from a brother who was only older than him by ten minutes. He set his glass on Caleb’s desk. Hard. “I never gave her any reason to believe I’ll be staying. In fact, Cass knows I won’t. She understands that I have to leave if I’m to support her and our children.”
“If it’s financial aid you require, I’m here to help.”
“Thank you, but I don’t want to be dependent.”
“All right then.”
“All right?”
Caleb shrugged. “Seems to me you’ve made your decision.”
“What I told you from the start, if you will recall, is that I’m not sure of what I’m doing.”
“So you did.” His blasé tone was infuriating. It made Devlin want to leap across his brother’s desk and strangle him with his perfectly tied cravat. “Although speaking for myself and for Griffin, with whom I’ve had a chance to discuss our formative years in great detail since our reunion, I’d hate for my children to be raised as I was.”
Something dangerous and dark began twisting and turning inside Devlin. “My children will never suffer as we did, Caleb. They’ll never have cause to question their parents’ love for them, and they’ll never be told they must be something they don’t want to be or that they’re useless.”
“No. I don’t expect so,” Caleb murmured. “But for them to avoid having parents who live apart, you have to be there, Devlin. And you have to participate in their lives, build memories, and watch them grow. You can’t run away as you always do.”
Devlin pushed out a heavy breath. “If you must know, I have been considering a change of pace. I just don’t want to feel like I’m being pushed.”
