“We knew you were back,” William said while crumbs spilled from his mouth.
“You really shouldn’t talk with your mouth full,” Cassandra gently chided. She turned her attention to Clyde and Henry. “And you two were supposed to behave, not destroy the house while I was away.”
“We know. But the paint had come off just a bit and it was so tempting to give it a pull and then…” Henry gave a big shrug. “We just couldn’t stop.”
“But we have learned our lesson,” Clyde said. “Katherine made sure of it.”
“Very well,” Cassandra chuckled, “I suppose you may both have a biscuit as well then.”
They snatched the offering and ran off, racing each other to the far end of the lawn, their laughter filling the air to mingle with bird song. Inhaling deeply, Cassandra glanced toward Devlin, whose love for her shone bright in his eyes.
How could he go away again so soon?
She did her best to smile, even though she didn’t understand it.
“I’ve been thinking,”Devlin told Cassandra a couple of days after their arrival at Clearview. “Perhaps I should look into buying a house – a place we can make our own. It might take time, but as long as I find the right place before I leave, Caleb should be able to finalize the deal after I’m gone and you can—”
“No.” The word was tight, Cassandra’s expression more so. But then she seemed to relax, her puckered brow smoothing while a smile appeared on her lips. “It’s a lovely gesture, and I appreciate it, but Clearview is special to me, so if you’re not staying, then this is where I want to be.”
“Cass…”
“It’s home and then, of course, there’s the added benefit of me being surrounded by people. I won’t lack company or support.”
She had a valid point. It was just that he felt he ought to do more and providing a house for their growing family seemed like a good start. He sighed. “Perhaps you’ll reconsider when I return.”
“Perhaps.” She rose up onto her toes and planted a kiss on his cheek. The weather was lovely, and they’d decided to take the children out for a walk so Katherine could have a few hours to herself.
Devlin put his arm around Cassandra’s shoulders and drew her close to his side. She was his wife and he would show his affection for her as publicly as he wished. Propriety, be damned.
“When I grow up, I want to marry a man who loves me as much as you love Cassandra,” Rosemary declared. She’d been skipping along silently beside them, but now that she’d spoken, she chose to run off and join Sophie and Penelope, who were picking wildflowers further ahead.
A knot formed in Devlin’s chest and his heart starting pounding. This was his family, he realized, as if he’d had his head buried under a rock. Not just Cassandra and Penelope, but the rest of the children too. And he was deciding to leave them because… Well, because that was what he did. He travelled. Gone for nine months and then back for one. It was a routine he’d had for almost seventeen years, ever since he’d argued with his father.
To stop and change his life had not occurred to him until Caleb suggested it. Or maybe it had, but he’d always shoved the notion aside, deemed it impossible, and buried it, refusing to give it the attention it required. But now, with his departure rapidly approaching, he found it difficult to think of anything else. Ideally, he wanted Cassandra to come with him, but he also wanted to make sure she and their child received the best medical care during labor. And if she didn’t come with him and he chose to stay, then there was the question of what his purpose would be.
Except…
He suddenly smiled. Maybe he was complicating the issue, because in the end, life had a way of sorting itself out. Right now, however, the future would be determined by choice. He was choosing to leave, but he could also choose to stay. The decision was his. No one was making demands either way, certainly not Cassandra, who’d simply resigned herself to the eventuality of his departure.
He frowned. “How come you haven’t asked me to stay?”
She glanced up at him, startled. She blinked several times in rapid succession. “I suppose I didn’t want to seem pushy. You love sailing, Dev. Asking you to give it up felt wrong. Selfish.”
“Expecting me to be a part of your life, of our children’s lives, would never be selfish.”
Her eyes widened. “Does that mean?” They’d both stopped walking and she’d turned toward him, her face tilted up toward his. “If I ask you to stay, will you?”
“I don’t know. You’ll have to find out.”
She grumbled something low beneath her breath and then cleared her throat. “Very well, then.” The wind caught a strand of her hair, and she reached up to tuck it behind her ear. “Will you stay here in England with me?”
Instead of the panic he’d always felt at the thought of remaining in England, Devlin’s heart started racing with joy. This was what he’d needed. To know his presence was truly wanted. For someone he loved to ask him to stay.
“Yes. I can’t imagine myself being happy anywhere else.” He took her hand. “I’ll give my duties over to Bronswick. Harris can be his first mate, and Trevor can become his quartermaster.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, her hesitance evident in her voice and her eyes.
Devlin nodded. “I always sailed to escape and because there was nothing to keep me here, but you’ve helped me put the past to rest. Now I have you and our children, and Cass…I love you. With all my heart I—”
