My body’s on fire. I could stand in an ice cube right now, and within seconds, it would melt because of the heat radiating off of me.
“Please tell me it’s not true.” Tears sting my eyes, and I try to hold them in because the last thing I need to do is cry in front of everyone at this party. “That what I heard was a misunderstanding, Declan. That Mollie was trying to get into my head like always.”
He still seems confused, and I wonder if I’m even speaking coherent sentences. “Why don’t we go upstairs, and we can talk there, where it’s not as loud and—”
“Freshman year.”
It’s all I say. The color leaves his face, his smile drops, and I watch his adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard.
His eyes catch mine, and there’s something in them that I can’t put my finger on… guilt? As he looks away, trying to focus on anywhere but me, I bite my cheek to keep the dam that’s holding back my tears from breaking.
“Ember.”
“Please, Declan, tell me you weren’t lying when you said you weren’t involved. Please tell me you were unaware of what would happen that night.”
“Let’s go upstairs, okay?”
“Declan, please just tell me this is all a misunderstanding, okay? What I heard isn’t true, and when you told me you weren’t at the party, that wasn’t you trying to dance around the question. That you actually had nothing to do with it.” I cry. “If you say that, if you tell me it’s a misunderstanding,I’ll believe you.”
I don’t even think I care if he lies to me. If he looks me in the eye and tells me he had nothing to do with what happened, I’ll accept it. Even if he’s lying to my face, I’ll take the win, and we’ll put this behind us. I need him to tell me it was all a misunderstanding.
“Em—” He takes a step forward, reaching for my face, and I take a step back. He’s not going to tell me what I want to hear… because he can’t lie his way out of this one.
“Did you tell Tanner to choose me?”
“No, not exactly. It wasn’t like that.”
“What was it like?”
“I saw you in the student union, and Tanner saw me see you, and that was that.”
“Were you aware of this so-called tradition?”
He wets his lips.
“Why weren’t you at the party?” I wonder.
“What?”
“You weren’t at the party the night he released the video.” I take a breath. “Where were you?”
“I, um—”
I laugh. It’s the only thing I can do to prevent myself from crying.
I got played… again.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I ask, a little too loud, that all eyes find us.
“Just let me explain, please.”
“Explain what? Nothing you could say right now would fix this, Declan. The worst night of my life happened because ofyou.”
“There’s more to the story if you let me explain. I never knew this would happen. I didn’t even know about the tradition until after everything went down. I admit he chose you because of me, but I never told him to. Tanner made every decision on his own, including that night.”
“How’d you make captain, Declan?”
“What?” This time he steps back.
