“That’s part of the tradition, right? A senior takes a freshman under their wing, and they become the next captain. But that only happens if you do everything they want.” I cross my arms. “So, I’m gonna ask you again, how’d you become captain?”
“I don’t know,” he mumbles. There are whispers around us, and I raise my hands in defeat.
“You know what, it doesn’t even matter.” I sigh. “The shows over everyone.”
I look around the house and see a bunch of strangers watching us. Then my eyes land on a group of people who may as well be strangers because I don’t even know if I can trust them anymore.
“And if it wasn’t clear already.” I point between the two of us. “So are we.”
forty-two
Declan
Are we gonna talk about it?” Brinley sits next to me.
“I don’t know if there’s anything to talk about.”
“Declan, what really happened freshman year?” she wonders, and I sigh.
“I’ll admit, I made mistakes in the people I hung out with. The people I trusted.”
“Like Tanner?”
“I don’t know if I ever trusted Tanner, but Dad—”
“Wanted to make sure you made captain.”
“Yeah.” I pause, thinking back to how much more control my dad had over me then. Which doesn’t excuse anything I did, but I don’t know. Maybe I would’ve seen Tanner for who he was sooner. “When I told Dad I was gonna continue playing for the NCAA after I got drafted, he flipped. Told me that if I was good enough to play in the NHL, I wouldn’t already be thinking about a backup plan.”
“And being a captain in the NCAA would help you shine come the end of the four years.”
“Especially because they could decide not to sign me after I graduate. I thought my whole future depended on becoming captain.”
“And listening to a dickwad like Tanner was going to help that?” she asks, and when she does, I realize how stupid it sounds. “How much did you know?”
“Nothing, really. Tanner reminded me of Dad, if I’m honest. He liked being in control. And when he saw me watching Ember—”
“Why were you staring at Ember?”
“I was surprised to see her.” Which wasn’t exactly a lie, but not the whole truth either. I wasexcitedto see her.
“And suddenly, he was chasing after her. I thought he actually had feelings for her, and I thought it’d be good for her. Especially when I realized her shell was starting to break open, but the morning of the party, I heard Tanner talking to the other seniors.”
“And why didn’t you say anything?”
“To Ember?” I wonder, and part of me wants to tell Brinley she’s crazy. I don’t think Ember cared for me even before that night. Why would she listen to me about this?
“To anyone.”
“I did.”
“What?”
“I went to admin. I went to the Dean and told them what I heard. Tanner had recorded himself having sex with another student, and she wasn’t aware of it. I wasn’t sure what he’d do with it, but he needed to be held accountable.”
“But Tanner was at the summer banquet that year, the same one that they announced you as captain. Why would they let him—”
“He never got in trouble.”
