Your disowning me was justified; I only pray that you will not extend that to my Collins daughters. They are innocent and have suffered far more in their short lives than any child should in all of their childhood.
Let me close by telling you how sorry I am for the person I became.
With thanks for reading this,
Fanny
This was a genuine expression of contrition. Both adult Phillipses were crying just after reading the letter.
They would read the journal, but after they had enjoyed Christmas with the children.
Phillips wrote a note to Gardiner and sealed Fanny’s letter within before writing the direction. He rang for Hill and asked that a groom take the letter into Meryton to be sent express, emphasising the urgency of the matter so cost was not to be a factor.
With that done, Agatha and Phillips went to spend time with their children.
Chapter 15
Edward Gardiner was in his parents-in-law’s sitting room close to his wonderful wife, holding her hand as he marvelled at the news that she had felt the quickening of their second child earlier that morning. Maddie had told him she expected the babe to arrive in May or June of 1800.
His mother-in-law was speaking to her housekeeper while Lambert and Patrick were at Lambert’s Book Emporium, having reopened the shop this day for the first time since they had closed the day before Christmas Eve.
As joyous as he was over Lilly’s birth and with Maddie increasing again, he could not help but wonder how and where Jane, Lizzy, and Mary were. All he wanted to know was that they were being cared for by someone who loved them. He did not want to think of the alternative which in dark moments, he would own, if only to himself, that the chances of them still being alive after almost eight years since Fanny left Longbourn with them were, very low, if not non-existent. If only his sister would have left some word of where the girls were before she ended her life and that of the monster she had married.
Gardiner’s reverie was broken when Vivian Lambert—his mother-in-law—entered the sitting room, a thick epistle in hand. “This is for you, Edward. It was delivered by express, which would have been here a day earlier had it not been for that snowstorm which we experienced.” She handed him the missive as she spoke.
Phillips’s hand was easily identifiable. By the notations on the outside, Gardiner could tell that it had been sent on Christmas Eve day. He saw Maddie looking at him questioningly. “This is from Phillips.” He held it up. “Mother and Maddie, would it offend either of you if I read it now? He would not have sent it express had it not been urgent.” Neither lady objected, so Gardiner broke the seal. He froze when he saw what was inside. A letter in his late sister’s hand. With his heart speeding up in anticipation that there would finally be an answer to the question Fanny had refused to answer no matter how many times she had been asked. He lifted the page from Phillips and began to read.
24 December 1799
Longbourn
Gardiner:
By nothing but pure chance, my Agatha discovered a journal secreted in a void under the floorboards in Fanny’s closet. Within were 2 letters. I have read mine and enclosed the one Fanny addressed to you. In mine, she told me where she left your nieces. However, she wrote that she put all the details into the letter for you.
Even though we originally decided to wait until after Christmas, Agatha and I have read a few excerpts from the journal so far. The description Fanny wrote of what she suffered at his hands are far worse than anything I, or you can, imagine. If that man was not already burning in hell, I would have willingly ended his useless, wasted life!
I will say no more and leave you to read this for yourself.
Phillips
He did not realise it, but when he read Phillips’s words, he had gasped audibly. He had believed that Fanny had taken the secret to her grave. Gardiner looked up into the concerned face of his beloved Maddie. His mother-in-law looked no less perturbed.
“Edward, is it bad news?” Maddie enquired.
“Not bad, but it seems Fanny wrote this,” Gardiner said, holding up the epistle, “before her end and hid it in her chamber. It was located on the day of Christmas Eve. The answers, or at least some of them, I have sought for so long are contained within.”
“Then, Edward, do not delay. You have waited too many years to know this,” Maddie urged.
Seeing that his late sister’s letter was not sealed, Gardiner unfolded the paper and smoothed it out. He began to read Fanny’s distinct, flowing script.
7 January 1799
Mr Edward Gardiner,
Excuse me for the formal address, but since you stated we were no longer brother and sister (completely justified on your part), I will no longer address you as I once did.
If you are reading this, there are one of three possibilities: 1) I am dead; 2) the best option is that the monster I married is dead; or 3) we both are dead. Before I married this man, I never imagined so much cruelty and evil in one person. Hence, if either 2 or 3 has come to pass, I hope he is burning in the fires of hell. Even that is too good for him.
