Is it possible I actually found something?
I swallow back the emotions bubbling in my chest and slowly crawl toward the jagged tip poking out of the snow. With care, I brush the snow away from it and gasp.
"I found it!" I scream, twisting to find my mother at the newly erected campsite. "I found a piece of glass!"
Nyx pounces to my side while the others hustle to join me as I pull the shard from the snow. It's thin and not much longer than my palm, but it's something.
I grab my mother's wrist and place the piece in her palm. Tears well in her eyes. Placing my hands on either side of her face, I smile, fighting my own tears.
"We have a chance," I whisper. "We might be able to bring him back."
Sylvane's lip quivers. She forces out a faint smile and bobs her head. "Yes, we just might."
The quiet part of my heart, the piece of me that feared to hope, throbs in excitement. There's a good possibility with this shard now in our possession, the Dwarves could reforge the portal to Orabelle and I'd be able to meet my father. And maybe then, I'll understand who I really am.
Eleven
Finn
Ihope I never step foot in Elowen again. Apart from it being freezing from dawn to dusk, this place has brought me nothing but misery.
Emotions I don't normally wrestle with are becoming hindrances in my daily life. The greatest and worst offence being jealousy.
I envy Atlas and Shaye. How they found one another and can express exactly how they feel. All the while, after years of being friends, Eris and I are closer than we've ever been and yet she seems further than before.
I've also been growing more comfortable with lying to those closest to me. It's been weeks and I know they sense something is off, but I attribute it to being tired or homesick. Never the truth. It should be criminal to lie to those you love but how can I say I wish their happiness was my own without sounding villainous?
To top everything off, the encounter with the Soul Eater robs me of sleep.
I spear my fingers through my hair, elbows rooted to the wooden railing. Waves slosh against the hull as our ship sails through the open sea, our course charted for Tronovia. I breathe a sigh of relief the further Elowen is put behind us. We'll be home soon but I'm returning heavier.
"I know what power you possess," Thrane had said when he caught me in the hall. "Power you can use to help us."
"I don't use my power," I had expressed, though the Frost Elf was undeterred.
"The Soul Eater has information we need," he pressed, following me down the corridor. "Information that could aid us in the war to come." Thrane circled in front of me, cutting off my retreat to my quarters. "Just talk to – "
"You mean torture him," I hissed. "I won't do it."
Thrane yanked me through double doors leading me into a lounge area. "You don't have to talk to him or torture him. That's your choice. But at the end of the day, you will need to make harder choices. Choices that could save the lives of those you love most or cause them to suffer."
I snarled, ripping my arm free from his hold. "You're only saying these things to manipulate me into doing your dirty work."
"Dirty work?" Thrane snapped, eyes narrowed in menacing fashion. "I never ask others to do what I am unwilling to do myself. You think I haven't done everything in my power to garner the information I seek? Those in positions of power are forced to make hard decisions." He stepped closer and whispered harshly, "If I did not need your help – your particular set of skills – I would not be asking."
I hated to admit the Frost Elf was making sense. He was right about a war coming. What's worse, whether I liked it or not, hewas right that my magic might actually help. My brothers, Eris, Shaye – all their faces appeared in my mind. What exactly am I doing to help them? To set them up for success? Maybe I'm damned with power like mine not to be seen as a hero. But maybe I didn't need to be the savior to the realm. Maybe I just needed to be the key to my loved ones having victory.
I swallowed and sucked in a deep breath, already regretting what I was about to do. "I'll help you."
I'm ashamed recalling how I inflicted horrors on the demon until he poured all his secrets. Shaye couldn't get a word out of him. But I could.
But my guilt wasn't due to using my affinity against the Soul Eater. It was because I enjoyed using my magic. What the others – including my brothers – don't realize is suppressing the urge to use my power drains me. I feel like a well that has dried up. I constantly thirst to taste the magic flowing through my veins. When I exert myself like I did in Bava to save Shaye, it fueled me. Made me feel whole – alive.
Not using it is a torture in itself. And I hate to admit I'm feeling weaker each day that passes.
The Soul Eater was weeping on the floor, begging for mercy. Although Shaye and Nyx didn't say anything, I could see the concern written across their faces.
What had I done?
