When I finally turned around, I saw Kay’Lo still standin’ in the same spot with the empty bottle hangin’ loose in his hand, his eyes on us in a way that made me feel some type of way.
He ain’t look out of control, or lost either. If anything, he just looked tired and a lil’ confused, like he had been tryna figure it out on his own and came up short. That was the part that sat with me the most ’cause I knew exactly what that felt like.
But even with all that sittin’ here between us, I ain’t say nothin’. I just adjusted My’Love against my chest and turned, walkin’ past him without a word as I made my way back down the hall toward our room. I could feel his eyes on my back the whole time, but I ain’t stop, look back, or say a single word while I kept goin’.
By the time I got back into the room, I eased down on the bed with my baby still in my arms, holdin’ her close while I leaned back against the headboard and let my hand move slow over her back.
She had calmed all the way down now, her little body warm against mine.
I looked down at her, brushin’ my fingers over her cheek while she made a small sound in her sleep, and I kissed her forehead, lettin’ my lips linger there for a second.
“She just wanted her mama…” I whispered to myself more than anything.
But even as I said it, my mind went back to what I had just seen.
To Kay’Lo standin’ there with that empty bottle, lookin’ at her like he ain’t know what else to do. To the way he had been talkin’ to her, walkin’ her back and forth. To the fact that he had gotten up with her before I even woke up. For some reason, I couldn’t fully settle into that the way I should’ve, ’cause instead of feelin’ relieved all the way, I just felt off in a way I couldn’t really explain.
I just felt… blah.
I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes for a second, still rubbin’ My’Love’s back.
Somewhere outside the door, I heard his footsteps comin’ back toward the room.
I just stayed right here with my baby in my arms, holdin’ her close while my mind sat in that same place I couldn’t quitename. ’Cause even though everything was fine and my baby was safe and ‘Lo had been to her, it still ain’t settle in me the way it should’ve, and that was the part that bothered me the most.
Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
Two weeks later…
I ain’t have to be up right now but I always got up an hour or two early just to make sure Toni and my baby was straight. Even with everything goin’ on in my life, that part never changed. It ain’t change for court, not for this trial, or for nothin’, ’cause before anything else, I was a father and a husband whether shit between us was right or not.
I sat up on the edge of the bed for a second, rubbin’ my hands over my face while I let my mind catch up with my body. I already knew what type of day this was about to be before my feet even touched the floor.
Every day for the past couple months had been the same shit, me walkin’ into the courtroom listenin’ to people who don’tknow shit about me speak on my life like they was there when everything went down.
That shit got old fast.
I was sick as fuck of sittin’ in suits while the prosecution tried to twist every detail, tryna make it seem like I hunted them niggas down and shot ’em in the back like they was runnin’ from me, knowin’ damn well that ain’t how that shit happened. But my legal team was fightin’ they ass off to keep the truth in front of the court even with all the bullshit bein’ thrown around.
They had been bringin’ in witnesses, breakin’ down the forensic evidence piece by piece, showin’ angles and trajectories that ain’t line up with the story the prosecution was tryna sell. It had been holdin’ up, but at the same time, that one piece of footage from my shop would shut all this shit down for real.
It was the one thing that would show exactly what led up to everything. It would show the part where I was provoked by them bitch ass niggas. That was the fuckin’ part they keep actin’ like ain’t exist, and we all knew that shit ain’t just disappear on its own.
At this point, I knew how Roderick Lennox moved. I knew that mad ass nigga wasn’t above playin’ dirty when it came to his kids, and after everything that happened, I wouldn’t expect nothin’ less from him.
My uncle Kojo had been diggin’ into it his own way, sendin’ them tiny drones through that nigga’s whereabouts, tryna see if they could pull somethin’ up from inside that nigga house, but even that ain’t get us nowhere yet. That’s what made this whole shit drag longer than it needed to.
Meanwhile, my name was gettin’ dragged through the mud like a muthafucka.
Everywhere I went, every headline…it was always the same shit, like I was the devil walkin’ around in broad daylight.
On top of that, these muthafuckas had me tied to Echo too, like I had somethin’ to do with that shit, and I had to sit here and take it, knowin’ what really happened and still keepin’ my mouth shut.
At the end of the day, Toni was my wife, and no matter what we had goin’ on between us or how heavy everything felt right now, I wasn’t foldin’ on her and I never would. She was the mother of my child.
I let out a slow breath and pushed myself up from the bed, walkin’ over to the bassinet. When I looked down and saw My’Love layin’ there with her eyes wide open, just starin’ up like she was in her own lil’ world, my brows lifted, ’cause she wasn’t that tiny newborn no more. She was a whole month now, and I had been right here watchin’ every change in her, from the way her eyes stayed open longer to how she started lookin’ at me like she knew exactly who I was.
“Aye… what you doin’ up, mama?” I murmured, reachin’ down to pick her up. The second I had her in my arms, I couldn’t help but look at her a lil’ longer, takin’ in how she had been growin’ right in front of me every day, like she was turnin’ into her own person and I ain’t miss a second of it.
