I slam my dorm door behind me. Sothat’swhat he’sthought of me this entire time? That I’m some spineless girl who’s too scared of her own shadow to take any risks?
“What’s with you?”
I spin toward Sage. “Dev is an asshole.”
She sits back in surprise. “That’s not what I thought you were going to say. What happened?”
“All I wanted was to study with him and instead he thought he’d take the opportunity to list all my faults and tell me what an idiot I am.”
“That doesn’t sound like him.”
“Yeah, well...” I glare at her. “This is all your fault.”
Sage glances longingly back at her notes before returning my gaze. “What’s my fault? Why am I even a part of this?”
“Because he liked you!” My voice is too loud. “Why couldn’t you have liked him back? Then everything would be perfect.”
“Perfect for whom? Me and Dev, or just you?”
I groan. “I don’t know. For everyone. You two could be happy,Will and I could be happy...”
“Why do I have to date Dev in order for you to be happy with Will?”
I grit my teeth. “I... ugh, never mind.”
I drop into my chair and whip out my glue gun. The idea of gluing a bunch of crap onto a birdhouse right now sounds blissfully mind-numbing.
Sage sighs and turns back to her notes. “It’s not that difficult, Ellie. If Dev makes you this mad, then stop hanging out with him. You’ll be happy, he’ll be happy, and I can study in peace. Problem solved.”
The suggestion stops me cold. As much as I want to wring his neck right now, the idea of not being friends with Dev is unbearable. I try to imagine it—passing him in the halls without acknowledging him, sitting next to him in class and not peeking over at his notes or complaining about the teacher after. My stomach twists at the idea.
“That’s what I thought,” she says.
“What did you think?”
“That he means a lot to you.” She lowers her voice. “And I don’t need to be a mind reader to realize how much he cares about you either.”
Flutters tickle my rib cage at her words. I can’t deny thatsomethingis going on between Dev and me.Something that might be messy and difficult and great.The flutters rev into trembles. Was he talking about us back there? Was he saying that we could be something great together? I drop my head into my hands. It doesn’tmatter either way. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts at all. I’m withWill—my charming, handsome, dreamy boyfriend. The one who is moving to America. That’s all I should be focusing on.
“You want my advice?”
“Probably not.”
“Great. Maybe you should spend more time thinking about classes and less time thinking about Will and Dev. You’re proving my point that boys are only distractions.”
“You’re not wrong about that. But you make it sound so easy.”
“Easy? It’s the opposite of that. But I want every contact, every tenth to my GPA, every piece of advice I can get and I’m not going to let anyone stand in my way. Ihaveto make this trip worth it for my dad.”
“Is he on your case about grades?”
She stares at me for a second and then slumps back into her chair. “I figured someone had told you by now.”
“Told me what?” I reply, suddenly anxious.
“That my dad passed away a few years ago.”
I slap a hand over my mouth.
